Major changes are taking place in my life right now.
But let me first explain that I have been unhappy for a while now, and I have written about it in the past. It seemed like no matter what I tried, nothing changed. I felt no better, and business remained the same-slow. I longed for a faster-paced life, good people around me, and abundance. For many years, I worked nonstop, but after a health scare, I learned to take breaks when needed and rest as much as possible. But still, it felt like I worked tirelessly and aimlessly.
I held out for as long as possible, then realized I had to change something. I could no longer sit around twiddling my thumbs about my life. One of my favorite quotes is from William Ernest Henley’s “Invictus.” “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.” I love this quote because I’ve been told I am a pioneer/ innovator. And while I see how I could be, that does not negate how challenging this journey has been. When you add my bipolar disorder to that, I have had quite the time.
Then, things got so bad that I realized I had to make a drastic change. So I did, and I will share about it later when I see more of the outcome. But today, I wanted to discuss how to tell when it’s time to make a drastic change. I’m sharing signs because, you know, your girl was ignoring them for years.
Stuck or Unfulfilled?
Are you feeling stuck or unfulfilled? When you find yourself in a rut, lacking excitement or passion in your daily activities, it may be a sign that you must make changes to find greater satisfaction and purpose.
In my situation, I’d been feeling unfulfilled and hopeless for some time. Baby, I’ve been over everything. Nothing excited me. Everything was blah. This has been the year from hell, but I have also had several wins, yet I barely felt them at all.
Are you always dissatisfied? If you constantly feel dissatisfied with your job, relationships, or overall lifestyle, it might be an indicator that something needs to change.
Nowadays, we are all ambitious, but I have a strong wandering spirit, meaning I always want more. It’s a double-edged sword, and I handle it with care. But it takes a lot to satisfy me, and nothing was coming close. People will say, “Oh, you’re doing this or that,” or “I know you’re proud of…” but really, I felt no way about most of it. Usually, all I could see was the next bridge I need to cross, the next dragon I had to slay.
Feeling constantly drained, experiencing burnout, or developing symptoms of stress-related illnesses may indicate that your current lifestyle is taking a toll on your well-being.
I hadn’t wanted to say the words, but I have been depressed a great deal. I tried to hide it, but the longer it went on, the harder that became. Everything was draining and took a lot out of me. I was emotionally tired all the time.
“If it don’t make dollars, then it don’t make sense,” literally. Consistent financial strain can be an indication that you need to reevaluate your financial habits and make changes to improve your situation.
Since we’ve been in Eventbrite’s Reconvene Accelerator, I’ve been talking about Black Women Made Whole again, so I’ve been reading the story also. When I think of the woman with the issue of the blood for twelve years, I compared it to all of the money I have invested into my business out of my pockets. It, too, has been draining though for thirteen years now. I thought about the woman going to doctors and specialists to seek a cure, and it reminded me of going to events and coaches, and my problem still remained.
In his book, When Women Pray, Bishop T. D. Jakes talks about how whatever family and relationships the woman with the issue of blood once had, were now gone, and I recalled my own tattered relationships with others and my loneliness.
Do you feel in your gut that you need to do something different? Sometimes, deep down, you may sense that something isn’t right, even if you can’t pinpoint the exact cause. Trusting your intuition can be a valuable indicator of the need for change.
As I mentioned earlier, I was hopeless. The world had lost its color, and I saw no way to bring it back. I knew there was nothing the doctor could write me to make these feelings disappear. But my therapist was like, “Ms. Fran, you already know what you need to do. You are an intelligent woman who knows how to make decisions.” In full transparency, I spent weeks trying to figure out what she meant by that and months trying to figure out what decision it was that I needed to make.
And over time, I made a small decision, which led to an even bigger decision. That led to lots more decisions to be made, and here we are today. For once, I will admit that I am excited. I cannot quite say that I am happy yet because transitioning can be, and often is, uncomfortable.
So, is time for you to make a life change? I’d love to know. You don’t have to tell me what it is yet but just that you are ready.
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