When you think of ‘quiet quitting,’ the first thing that comes to mind is work. Quiet quitting became a thing in early 2020 and quickly became popular among lower and middle-working-class people. It was like one-day folks decided to return the energy their employers gave them without regret, purposely leaving without providing two-week notice and doing the bare minimum until they escaped. Fast forward a couple of years, and now quiet quitting is utilized in relationships and friendships more than ever.
What does it mean to ‘quiet quit’ a relationship? It entails minimizing your commitment to the relationship and withdrawing from interacting with its concerns. Ending relationships or friendships can be traumatic; therefore, many people slip into the role of a bystander to avoid the pain and discomfort of breaking away; it’s like leaving without indeed leaving. Quiet quitting in relationships isn’t new. Our parents, grandparents, and other elders are notorious for physically staying in relationships with no love or romance to avoid starting over, hurting feelings, and being alone.
If you aren’t familiar with what ‘quiet dumping’ looks like, here are vital signs that your partner may be quietly breaking up with you.
They stop advocating for their wants and needs.
- The arguments about quality time, intimacy, attention, shared housework, etc., have ceased; this is a huge red flag that your partner is shutting down emotionally. They do everything themselves down to self-pleasure and romance. When this happens, your mate is no longer looking to you to satisfy or make them feel secure and safe, which could leave them to return the energy and not love you the way your heart craves to be.
Intimacy is scarce and passionless.
- Dry, passionless, mechanical sex could indicate that your lover is over you and the relationship. There could be resentment toward you, or they’re simply engaging in sexual activity to avoid an argument or to fulfill their relationship duty. For many, sexual attraction is one of the things that are first to fizzle out and die when one or both individuals are withdrawn from the relationship emotionally and mentally.
Your ‘couple goals’ are null and void.
- Bae-cations, children, investments, marriage, relocating, and all other plans are no longer a hot topic between you. When you mention these things to your partner, they say things such as, “We have too much going on right now to think about that,” “There’s no rush, we’ll get to it,” or “It’s not something I think we’re ready for right now.” These are signs one should not ignore. Your partner could have deadened all plans with you, and this is their way of letting you know.
Quality time seems like a chore.
- As I mentioned, you have begun to feel that your partner is treating you and the relationship like an obligation; all engagement happens because they have a role to play. When you go on dinner dates, there’s hardly any conversation, flirting, etc. It appears your mate doesn’t want to be there in the first place. They’re as stiff as a board during sex, no four-play, dirty talk, eye contact, or anything, just bland intercourse. When you try to cuddle, their body is tense, with no effort in holding you in return. Lastly, they don’t plan anything; it’s been you setting dates and times to hang out; they show up, participate and go back to being distant and cold.
Communication is brief and shallow.
- They don’t talk to you anymore. They only speak when spoken to, meaning they don’t acknowledge you until you make them. All of your questions are met with short, vague answers. Your significant other doesn’t ask how you’re doing, how your day was, or if there’s anything you need; all communication is initiated by you, leaving you feeling like you’re annoying them. You notice that they’re talkative with everyone but you. You find out things about your partner from other people. Cutting communication with a partner is another key sign that your mate is possibly quietly breaking up with you.
Have you ever quietly broken up with someone? How was that experience? Let us know in the comments.
Article Written by: Obsession | is a romance and erotica author, blogger, photographer, and artist from Chicago, IL.
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