Are you currently or considering dating someone with children? If you’re childless, entering a relationship with someone who has kids can be challenging. Honestly, dating, in general, can be tough. For all those single and looking folks, dating can be adventurous and daunting. You must weed out all the crazies and time-wasters before you meet someone worth saving to your contacts. Dating someone with children may not be a walk in the park, but it can be done gracefully. Here are a few tips on how to date someone who’s a parent.
- Know your place- You are not the priority or the disciplinarian. Stay in your lane. It takes an emotionally mature individual to understand when they’re dating someone with a child or children, their wants and needs aren’t at the top of that parent’s list. Being patient and understanding will take you far. Sometimes dates will be canceled; phone calls will be interrupted, and even times when the parent is too exhausted to entertain you or any other adult. You will have to be okay with that. Also, walking into a situation trying to establish dominance and authority with children you don’t know is one of the easiest ways to send a child to therapy. This behavior has ruined many parent-child relationships because the new boo saw children with no father figure in the home as an opportunity for power and control. Let mom or dad do their thing with their children; you just provide support when asked.
- Respect the other parent- Your partner may not be a single parent but someone who is co-parenting. If you two are serious, a meet and greet between you and the other parent should be orchestrated before you even meet the children. Now, I’m not talking about the parent that disrespects the full-time parent and only sees their child every blue moon. No, I’m talking about the parent that’s actively involved in their child’s or children’s lives even though they aren’t in the same home. The involved co-parent has a right to know who will be around their child. This goes back to what I said about being emotionally mature.
- Earn their trust- Being consistent, patient, understanding, honest, and intentional is the way to achieve this, not buying empty gifts and trying to force quality time. Children are extremely intuitive and sensitive to energy. They’ll know if you’re being sincere or not; therefore, they may be a bit stand-offish in the beginning. Engage organically with the children. Let’s not forget before you earn the kids’ trust, you must earn their parents’. If they don’t trust you, you can forget about ever meeting them.
- Plan accordingly- Raising children is already stressful, don’t add onto that by expecting the parent to be able to pick up and go. You must be flexible. They may want to use their free time to sleep, catch up on housework, or simply have a moment to themselves, and again, you must be okay with that. Keep their schedule in mind when planning activities. Remember, it’s hard to get a babysitter last minute, so make sure you give them a heads-up at least seven days in advance.
- Be honest with yourself- This person may be awesome, but dating them may be more than you can handle. Parents and their children are a package deal; you cannot do right by one without doing right by the other. Dating someone with children may not be the best idea for you if your love language is quality time and physical touch. Know your tolerance before embarking on this journey; it will save you from wasting both of your time.
Have a few tips of your own? Please share them in the comments.
Article Written by: Obsession | is a romance and erotica author, blogger, photographer, and artist from Chicago, IL.
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