Today while looking in my cabinet for a teacup, I came across a cup where the handle was broken off, and it is almost like the voice of God said, “You need to stop holding on to what is broken.” This does not just pertain to things but people as well. I started to think about how I hold on to things saying to myself, I can find a purpose in this. Now I am one to believe that God can fix anything that is broken and find purpose in it.
The thing is, I am not God and I am left with things just in the way and around. I am not just talking about anything that has importance either. This cup was just a random cup that I could purchase another to replace. Broken looks different depending on the person and the thing that is being called broken.
Relationships, let’s start here. My father passed away recently. So many called, texted, and checked on me in their own way. I remember looking at my niece and telling her, two of my cousins had yet to contact me. I had people I had not talked to in years and didn’t have a relationship with contacting me and these two were my blood. It didn’t hurt but it was a “noted” factor. At the funeral one of them showed up and told me that it was like reliving her father’s death. I totally understood but I have yet to hear from the other.
In my mind, I wonder why do I care that she didn’t contact me. Why am I collecting that broken relationship when my cousin has shown me countless times that she does not want to have a relationship with me? NOTED!
Earlier this year I found myself talking to a man that I felt I had fallen in love with seven years ago. I really think he gets off on the fact that it took me so long to get over him when in all honesty, he was the one that wanted to stay in touch. He always wanted to have some type of connection to me, even if we were not active in one another’s life. Everything came to a head this summer and it was ended for good.
Why did I have to wait for him to end it for good to be completely done with it? I had been collecting that broken relationship for seven years. That relationship was not adding anything worthwhile to my life. Just a random ass “friendship” that kept my heart on edge wondering when he will see that I am the one that he truly needed to be with. Ugh! I am so over collecting broken relationships that serve no purpose in my life.
Things would be the next thing to bring into account. I have so much stuff! Periodt! I have “just in case” stuff, stuff that I used to love but don’t use or wear anymore. I keep the boxes that items come in just in case I have to move it. It can go into its original box. Y’all, I seriously have an issue. Going back to the random cup in my cabinet, I literally asked myself, why are you holding on to this cup. The funny thing is, it was an initial cup and the initial was the letter B. So very random. I am sure it all goes back to some childhood trauma that I will have to unpack with my therapist in our session this week.
It’s time to let these broken, unusable things go. How can you receive something new when you are holding on to so much from the past that serves you no purpose. You are trying to make sense of it but you can’t. I challenge you, go into your closet and pull out those things that you have not worn in six months. Look around your home and find broken things, things that do not have any meaning or purpose. Let go of all of that stuff, so you can receive everything this new year has to bring. Let go of those broken things!
-Arnya T.M. Davis