Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Finding My Voice

When we first started Theories and Thoughts podcast, I knew I wanted to communicate with my audience, verbally. I wanted to be able to use my voice. But I really struggled with being on camera and speaking. I worried about what people thought of me and worried if I looked okay. Plus, the camera simply we’re not friends the way the camera is friendly with some people. I can’t make love to the camera with my eyes. However, I desperately wanted to get it right.

 

It was no simple feat but the calling to use my voice was much stronger. This was something that was important to me, and I would be in internal conflict about it, but I knew I had opinions about things that mattered, and other people might agree.

 

Last week while completing a task I realized we had 95 episodes on YouTube and it occurred to me that I no longer feel uneasy or uncomfortable before I go to press the Go Live button. 

 

Over time, I’ve grown more comfortable with it. I’ve become a podcaster. Sometimes I still twist my hands when talking or brace myself in my seat. Yes, I must admit, I’m amazed that I’m able to do this. I don’t do these sorts of things at all. I don’t normally speak unless spoken to. That’s the sort of woman society has taught me to be.

 

But now I see the error in that way of thinking. We should want to use our voices; we should want to take up space, wherever we are. It’s okay to desire to be remembered. It’s human nature. We should want that.

 

The problem was I used to not think I want those things because I did not think I was worthy of them. I used to worry that I didn’t know enough or I wasn’t woman enough to speak on things. It was as if everyone deserved to have an opinion but me because I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers or cause any ripples. That would only bring about conflict and from there confrontation which I don’t handle too well will follow. 

 

Now I still do not care for confrontation, but I have come to realize that it is bound to happen at some point. Not everyone will like what I have to say and that is ok. That is life. 

 

What’s most important is that I do not shrink myself to appease or appeal to others. I’ve slept on myself for so long that the I ache to own every bit of me and the first step to doing so is using my voice. I can’t imagine moving forward any other way. 

 

This journey is only beginning. I hope you will continue with me. 

 

From Fancy w/ Love

 

Francheska Felder
Francheska Felderhttp://swagheronline.com
Francheska “Fancy” Felder is an award-winning editor, publisher, publicist, and quiet Southern media mogul. In 2010, she launched SwagHer Magazine, an empowerment and lifestyle publication for the Black woman who likes to keep it real, which also doubles as a PR boutique. SwagHer Magazine uses positive media and storytelling to create new narratives and mindsets around Black women, their communities, and the businesses and organizations they lead, while the boutique strategically executes press and brand campaigns. The proud SU alum is also the publicist for Power Influence Radio and hostess of the CEO Chatter LIVE Podcast. Because she battles with bipolar disorder, Fancy is a proud mental health advocate.
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