Wednesday, July 17, 2024
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Shout Out to My Ex: 5 Exes We All Have

Exes, we’ve all got them. Unless you were a fast-tailed, hood mouse, playa-playa, thotty thot-thot back in the day, you know something about being in love. It’s something special about giving your all to someone who gets you. Well, for many of us, that feeling of love was fleeting. A few of us have a dating file in our minds where we store our exes based on how we loved them, how they loved us and how it ended. 

Below are five exes I believe many of us have tucked away in our mind. 


The Wall-Banger


If they were good for anything, it would be the way they made you scream, holler, shake and vibrate all over the bed. The way your ex-handled you, sexually haunts you. You have been on a quest to find someone just as good or better and have come up short every time. They tap-danced all over your nerves, cheated, mishandled you, and showed you time and time again that you two had no business even being together. But when it came to the bedroom, they said and did all the right things, which made all the significant issues seem small and petty. Best sex you’ve ever had, sure, but that would only have held the relationship together for so long, and you know that now.

 

The Yo-Yo

Break-up to make-up” by the Stylistics was written just for you two. Social media blocking, number changing, cutting off their family, flattening tires, showing up to the same events with your new boo to piss each other off, only to get back together not long after. You all were crazy! Both of you! It was just something about how they said your name, smiled at you and intensely said “I love you.” It’s like they were too much to handle, but at the same time, you couldn’t imagine life without them. So you did that dysfunctional dance until one of you came to your senses and realized that the entire situation was unhealthy and that you deserved better.

 

 

Homie, Lover, Friend

You two just had to cross that forbidden line, and now look at you all. You can barely look one another in the eye. You can’t get back the friendship you had before because you decided to wander into uncharted territory. Things were so great that you both knew that getting into a relationship made sense. Nope! Not at all! Things changed drastically, essentially after you guys bumped uglies. Yes! Sex will change the dynamic of a relationship. Something that you didn’t care about when you were friends, you care about now. He wanted you to change your dress code. You wanted him to eliminate all his so-called ‘play sisters’ and friends. You drove each other crazy with your newfound sensitivity and rules, to the point of not being able to hold a civil conversation. Not long after, reality smacked you in the face and showed you both the mistakes you made. Some people don’t need to be promoted. Some belong right where they are.

 

 

Whatchamacallit

You don’t remember them until someone mentions them. When they do, you wave your hand and say, “We just didn’t work out,” because that’s the truth. There was no bitter ending. You both just decided to call it quits, one way or another. You are positively indifferent to this person, you don’t hate them nor love them and you couldn’t care less about them. That relationship is so irrelevant you laugh and shake your head at the fact that you even went there with that person in the first place. How many times has a person come up to you and said, “Hey, are you and (insert irrelevant ex-name) still together?” and you’re like, “Who?”

 

The Heartbreaker

You gave them everything! Your heart, soul, Netflix log-in info, and this fool decided to shatter your world with betrayal or a goodbye. They left you questioning your entire existence, wondering why you weren’t good enough and where it all went wrong. You can’t help but compare others to them. Hell, you can’t help attracting others like them. Yep, they messed you up big time. Oh, and it doesn’t help if they were a family favorite! If the fam loved them, they brought him up every time they saw you or thought of you, making the healing process slow and more painful.

 How many exes do you have on this list and which one is your favorite? 

 

 

 

Obsession | is a romance and erotica author, blogger, photographer and artist from Chicago, IL.

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My favorite topics to write about are:

Relationships

Emerging Artists

Books (I’m a bookworm who loves reviewing books)

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