Eight years ago, I fell pregnant unexpectedly. We hadn’t planned on having a child, or at least not then, but we soon warmed to the idea of expanding our little family. Then I miscarried.
I’ll never forget just how coldly the sonographer told us there was no heartbeat as she quickly wiped the serum from my stomach and looked towards the door. It was as though she just expected us to get up and leave. Like she didn’t just throw a grenade into my soul with those three words. “There’s no heartbeat’.
That night, and the many that followed, I slept with my legs propped high in the air, desperately hoping I could prove her wrong. Until that one dreaded day that I found myself lying in a heap on the bathroom floor.
I was heartbroken. Devastated. Inconsolable. Crying for days, for weeks, for months on end. It’s so hard to explain how broken I felt. Completely unable to rid myself of the emptiness and unworthiness I felt inside. A while later, we started to try for another baby but it just wouldn’t happen. “Your tubes are blockedâ€, “you have polycystic ovariesâ€, “you need IVF,†the doctors said, further adding to the turmoil I felt inside.
Then, my sister got pregnant. She had been trying too, and finally was expecting her baby girl. She was ecstatic, but she didn’t want to tell me. She didn’t want to cause me further pain. She didn’t want to rub it in.
Bless her for thinking of me. God knows, from the bottom of my heart, I was happy for her. I was SO happy for her. And for the first time, in a long time, I felt hope. I felt like whatever was meant for me, would be for me.
Fast forward to two years later when I naturally fell pregnant with my son. Despite all the diagnoses that were given- despite feeling like it would never happen for me, I fell pregnant! But the real powerful bit is right here – do you know when he was born? On my niece’s exact birthday! Won’t he do it? Tell me that wasn’t God at work! Never give up hope – God has plans for you! -Daniella
About Daniella Bissember
Daniella is a therapist in training, soon to be author and mother of three beautiful children. She believes that everyone has a defining moment in their life that pinpoints, shapes, and molds them into becoming who they are. Daniella’s defining moment began with her journey entering motherhood. This mother of three also shares how her journey has been far from perfect. Noting, she had her fair share of ups and downs. Yet, through God, she was shown that anything is possible after you endure. A person will bloom, right where we are planted.
Connect with Daniella Bissember on Instagram: @myreflectivejourney
