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HomeLIFESTYLEAm I the Problem? 5 Reasons Why You Aren't Relationship Material

Am I the Problem? 5 Reasons Why You Aren’t Relationship Material

No one is perfect; therefore, love isn’t either. For unknown reasons, we fall in love with strangers that we eventually label “my person.” We all wish to be that special someone another feels is the best thing since sliced bread. Is this you? You may think you are but think about it. If you do any of the five items listed below, you may want to reconsider how you behave in love. 


Reason #1: Your self-worth is low

Everyone who comes into your life can guarantee you will love them more than you love yourself. You over-compromise and make it a habit to put your wants and needs on the back burner. It doesn’t take long for your lover to turn you into an emotional punching bag or a safety net that catches them when they make bad choices. You bail them out of responsibility and financial holes while being overwhelmed with life and bills yourself. Respecting you isn’t a priority to your partners because they could see that you don’t have an ounce of it for yourself. Stop being a pushover and push yourself to the top of the list. You matter! You mean something, and you’re just as important as everyone else on this planet. Take care of yourself and watch a man or woman come along willing to take care of you in all the ways you’ve dreamed of.  

Reason #2: You’re a parent, not a partner

Your partner sees you as demanding and authoritarian, while you see them as careless and defenseless, much like a toddler or teenager. In essence, you struggle to respect your partner’s boundaries or have faith in them to act morally. Resentment and dissatisfaction on both ends usually result from this relational interaction. Treating your other half like a child is sure for the relationship to crash and burn. After a while, you must realize that it’s not them; it’s you; you’re looking for a puppet, not a partner. 

Reason #3: You Don’t Meet Your Standards

You want what you don’t have. You want what you don’t give. You require your partner to do things you haven’t done for yourself, like be consistent. We have to show people how to love us. It’s important to carry yourself in a way that states, this is who I am, this is how I am, and what I expect from anyone who wants to enter a relationship with me. Do you want to be treated like royalty? That starts with you, not your partner. As a woman, you shouldn’t require your partner to keep your hair and nails done every two weeks if you don’t. As a man, you shouldn’t need your partner to keep a clean house if you live in a pigsty. Live up to your standards because you demand them from someone else. 

Reason #4: No concept of accountability

Everything is always the other person’s fault. You point the finger at everyone but yourself, and it has caused a lot of drama in your relationship. It takes two to tangle, baby; no one is always right. If you aren’t ready or willing to bear the weight and responsibility of the relationship with a partner, then remain single. Behaving as though you’re exempt from fault is childish and exhausting. Own your crap, so you can grow and be better tomorrow.  

Reason #5: Emotionally Dysregulated

In other words, you shut down or explode about everything that makes you uncomfortable or upset. Disagreements turn into war, and you have difficulty moving past it. If you have to bark (scream and cuss) at your partner to get your point across, you may want to consider therapy. Your companion cannot receive what you’re trying to convey if you use your DMX, Busta Rhymes, or Mystikal tone. People tend to listen and receive messages better when we use our Janet Jackson and Toni Braxton voices when speaking. Turn the volume down on your throat when you’re talking to your mate, and maybe you won’t spend months and years in struggling love, only for it to end on weird terms. 


Article Written by: Obsession | is a romance and erotica author, blogger, photographer, and artist from Chicago, IL.

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My favorite topics to write about are:

  • Relationships
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