Love looks different when it’s rooted in truth, partnership, and purpose. In The Way Love Goes, hip-hop icon Da Brat and beauty mogul Jesseca “Judy” Harris-Dupart open the doors to their world with the same boldness that has defined their careers — part memoir, part relationship guide, and fully a testament to what it means to build love and legacy in real time.
From private battles to public breakthroughs, the couple reflects on communication, vulnerability, work-life balance, and choosing each other again and again — even when the cameras are rolling, and life is life-ing. Told in Brat’s unmistakable Chicago edge and Judy’s New Orleans flavor, the book is warm, unfiltered, funny, and rich with the lessons that come from doing love out loud.
But beyond the headlines and hit TV moments, Brat and Judy are rewriting what visibility can look like for Black LGBTQIA+ couples: authentic, faith-filled, entrepreneurial, and deeply human. Their story — once unlikely — has unfolded into national television, a thriving beauty empire, and the arrival of baby True Legend, all while keeping their marriage at the center.
SwagHer sat down with the couple to talk about vulnerability, boundaries, fairy-tale love, growth, and the sacred work it takes to stay in partnership. What unfolded was just as real as the book itself — equal parts laughter, transparency, and hard-earned wisdom.
Fancy: What inspired you both to write The Way Love Goes, and what did you want readers to walk away understanding about love, partnership, and evolution?
Da Brat: What inspired us to write Love Goals was my wife. She felt like we should do all the things, and since we did the TV show, she felt like it would be great to write a book. So she convinced me to write a book with her. And we hope that people take away that love is a partnership, and it’s just not something that you can just let sit. You have to nurture it, and you have to water it like a flower for it to grow. And you can never know too much, and you have to learn from each other, and you have to have a lot of patience and great communication.
Fancy: So I’ve been reading, and I was really intrigued by the book from the first page until as far as I’ve gotten. So I’ve really been enjoying it. And one thing I wanted to ask about Judy, when you shared. Well, when you talked about sharing your first photo with the Swagher, I felt that deeply. When we’re truly in love, we can’t help but want to tell the world. And Da Brat, when you shared you’d been in the closet for over 30 years, it was emotional because that is a huge life transition. Do you think things would have turned out differently between you two had Judy not shared the post of you two on social media?
Da Brat: No, I think they would have turned out however they were supposed to. I think, regardless of whatever happened with us, we would still be where we are right now because we’re meant to be. And had she not shared the post, it would have come out later anyway, because I would have done it myself, because I did not want to hide our love whatsoever.
Fancy: Ok, that makes sense. So Judy, how did you help Da Brat transition from being extremely private to being willing to live out loud with you to the point of doing reality TV together?
Judy: Actually, when we were dating, she kind of taught me how to be private. And she was the one who wanted the world to know. She was the one who grabbed my hand in public and wanted me to sit on her lap in public. I was just following her lead. You know, I was. I was okay with, you know, looking like I’m just part of the crew..
Da Brat: But that wasn’t fair to you. Cause you used to living out loud. So then I had you trying to be like a turtle and live in the damn shell.
Judy: Yeah, I didn’t– I was fine. I didn’t care. That was her ass. Like, bitch, I don’t care no more. That’s how she felt. As far as reality tv, so they offered us the spin-off.
Da Brat: —We did Growing Up Hip Hop Atlanta.
Judy: Yep, Growing Up Hip Hop Atlanta, and the viewers were really interested in her life and her relationship. Now, the thing that I convinced her to do was be 100% transparent.
Da Brat: That was hard.
Judy: When we were filming, and we argued, she wanted to put the cameras out. I said, ‘No, let him stay. Let him stay.’ Like, like we’re gonna get— we’re gonna argue, but we’re gonna also get on the other side of it.
‘So you gonna let him stay? Why?’
‘Because we not even normally like this.’
Exactly. So let’s work it out with the cameras here.
Da Brat: Yeah, I didn’t like that because we didn’t use to even fuss like that. And then when we did fuss on tv, I wasn’t used to just letting people see that side of it, that personal side of it, and me being vulnerable. Like, I had a “swagger-tation” to protect, you know what I’m saying? But being in a relationship, she taught me how to just like, ‘You know, what if they see us fuss, then they need to see the resolve.’ And I’m like, ‘Oh my God.’ So, you know, I had to really— it was a lot for me because people saw me cry, and I didn’t want people to see me crying. Like I’m a rapper, you know what I’m saying? I ain’t supposed to be crying on TV, but, you know, it was…
I learned that it’s okay to be vulnerable because I’m human, you know, and my wife taught me how to do that.
Fancy: Right, and also I saw where you all kind of had a little spat about, like Judy believing that once you are in another relationship, like you should be cutting off people from the past. Which makes sense. But I was wondering, like, do you all feel like there’s any type of exception? You know, like somebody. Grandmama died? Because I’ve kind of experienced something similar with my partner. And I know how he felt about it. But for me, it’s kind of like,’ Oh, well, you know, you kind of— you know that person or you knew that person all those years. It seemed kind of rude not to say something. But what are your thoughts on that, Judy?
Judy: So it still is my feeling that you shouldn’t communicate with exes, but it doesn’t have to be 100 of them because she still has communication with one or two. You know, and it’s not an all the time everyday thing.
Da Brat: But it doesn’t bother you at all because, you know, it’s nothing.
Judy: Right. So, it might be something where somebody had somebody pass away, and she reached out, but she asked me first.
Da Brat: Absolutely.
Judy: She texted me first and said, ‘Hey, such and such happened. Do you mind if I reach out?… Whatever, whatever.’
‘Oh, no, it’s fine.’
I think for me, having an ongoing list of people or it’s just, you know, wide open. No matter the relationship that you had with them, like how recent y’all were in a relationship or nothing, they shouldn’t be in your phone anymore. You shouldn’t be communicating with them, though. You shouldn’t be texting them no more. That’s just what I feel. And, but I give her that same respect though. I don’t communicate with my exes.
Fancy: Okay. And so my last– well, not my last question, but how would each of you describe your swagher? What makes the Da Brat, Da Brat, and what makes Judy, Judy?
Da Brat: What makes Da Brat, Da Brat? Oh, my goodness. I don’t know. I don’t even know how to answer that. I’m the first female rapper to ever sell a million records. I grew up in a sanctified church. I mean, everything makes me. Like, I love music. I’m a writer. I have a beautiful family. I have an amazing son. I am a wife, mother, and daughter. Like, I grew up in Chicago. I moved to Atlanta, Kris Kross discovered me. Jermaine Dupre is, is my big brother. Like, all these things make me. That’s a crazy question. I could go on forever about that.
Like, I don’t know.
Judy: Yeah, so I guess myswagher.
Da Brat: Laughs. My swagher…
Judy: I’mma try to keep it simple and short. I think I am a transparent unicorn, that’s about my business, but also believes in fairy tale love.
Fancy: I like that. I still believe in fairy tale love as well. So you’re not alone there. Okay. And my last question, what surprised you both most about writing this book together? Like, did you all learn anything about each other?
Da Brat: I think I learned that my wife still believing the dumb shit she thought she was right about a long time ago. And I still stick to my guns about how I feel about it, too. So I learned that we both agree to disagree, and we have different opinions about the way things happen.
Judy: The dumb shit?
Da Brat: Yeah. Let me ask—
Judy: Let me ask you this. If you flew to a city to visit somebody, and they didn’t answer their phone twice, and then you moved on. Do— this person feels like I should have said, ‘Hey, I’m moving on —
Da Brat: But what if—Okay, just say out of those two times she’s talking about–Say it was six times, and you saw them four of the six times, but two times you didn’t. Because she keeps saying that, but she don’t talk about all the times that we did see each other, and link up, and meet up, and whatever…. You don’t talk about that. And I think if you’re gonna move on, the least you can do is have the decent courtesy to tell the person, ‘You know what? I can’t do this shit no more. Do what you’re gonna do. I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do.’ Instead of the person having to look on Instagram and see you hugged up with some n* gga.
Fancy: Okay… so I’m not gonna take a side, because I read about this, so I already know y’ all not putting me in this, but I understand where both of you all were coming from in that situation. Laughs.
The Way Love Goes is available wherever books are sold. Readers can purchase a copy online and in bookstores nationwide to experience Da Brat and Jesseca “Judy” Harris-Dupart’s full story of love, vulnerability, and legacy in their own words.
