My 35th trip around the sun has been an eventful one. From police murders to the shutdown and Coronavirus to resume and assimilating into the new normal afterward, life has been changing faster than the blink of an eye almost. The shootings, however, have been around for years, who knows how far they go back. Then there was a time I thought I was about to lose my mind, mostly from September to March. But everything has not been all bad or sad during my year of 35. I met the man I deserve right before my 35th birthday.
It’s funny because it was about this time too that I had completed the image of the man I not only wanted but felt that I deserved. I know that I am a prize, and I also know that not every man is worthy of me, so every man is not deserving of me. But from the moment I saw this man in my inbox, I knew he was who my higher self had been telling me about for years. I knew he was the reason why I had left several relationships and engagements because they weren’t him. They weren’t even on his level.
Unfortunately, while I seem to know who he is, he doesn’t quite know himself. My intuition tells me that, and through my wisdom and understanding, I can accept it and be patient. However, we did get to spend some wonderful months together upon reconnecting months after we parted ways, also for a few months.
That was possibly the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. For the first time in my adult life, I knew what my happy Facebook sisters felt like. I’m talking about those who know peace and love, not the fake happy. I’m not saying they don’t ever have unhappy days, or they don’t have obstacles. Still, these are the sisters who don’t have time to be keeping up mess because they have a loving family and man (in every possible sense of the word) to tend to, and they are too busy enjoying life. That’s what I felt with him.
If you saw me throughout the summer or a mention of Quarantine Bae, that was during that time. I even admitted that I felt guilty because of my happiness during such a horrible time for the world, but even now, I know that God ordains our union though unofficially, but still.
That happiness unlocked my power, but when we parted again, that pain unlocked my action. Having fully experienced happiness unlike anything I’d experienced before allowed me to tap into a part of myself I hadn’t ever known.
Anyway, I was activated by love and moved by pain. It hurt like hell, but I put that time to use to work on myself and my health.
Years of living unstable had taken a toll on my body and my mental health. I started therapy shortly before meeting the man I deserve, so that was my solace during that time, along with some other things. I may share about that later, but by then, I was also in my own place, and beautifying it took over. Basically, I spent that time working on me, and I see the payoff in it, in all of it.
35 was the year I took my own advice and tapped into a goddess.
Also, check out this event I’ll be taking part in next week, where I’ll also be touching on this and more.Â
