HomeINSPIRATIONMAKING ROOM TO GROW4 Things to Stop Saying Doing When Your Mind Shifts

4 Things to Stop Saying Doing When Your Mind Shifts

Happy Monday! As I am trying to share more of the knowledge that I acquired during my year of struggle for the life I want, aka 2018, I’ve been asking myself what changed in my mindset more often. So today I wanted to share four things I realized when it was time to swim or sink, and I refused to sink.

  1. STOP saying what you wish you could do, and instead just do it.

I hear this one all the time, when I talk to others. I wish I could do this, or I really wish I could do that’. And because whenever people tell me what they do in business or what they want in life, my mind instantly goes to what creative things they could be doing. I’m always spitting out these ideas, and eight out of ten, they are like  ‘yea, but…’. I used to rebuttal their ‘buts’ with workarounds, but then it hit me. They don’t really want this as bad as they say they do, because if they did, they would realize they have to be taking some kind of action towards their desires. It could be baby steps, but something has to be in motion babe (as Delilah Peach is always saying, lol).

  1. STOP worrying about what everyone else is doing and focus on what you could be doing.

These two go hand in hand. When they shared whatever it was they wish they could be doing, they often tell me about someone on Instagram who was once doing this or like that, but is now doing this or now like that. Sometimes they even give me the blueprint to what that person did, so they already know it- but instead of getting what they need and getting to work, they are like that employee or project-mate that has been given all the instructions, but they are still sitting there. After a while, you start having this look on your face like ‘ok, so when are you going to start?’
I will say in these cases, sometimes this type of individual may have questions, but they either don’t know how to ask or they are too prideful to do so. If it’s pride, um- you can ask Google almost anything, and almost no one knows, unless you have your computer or phone seized…Give it a try! But if it is you don’t know how to ask, maybe you don’t totally see what it is you are missing, so you don’t know how to articulate it, I would suggest writing out what you do know and organizing it in step-by- step directions as much as possible, almost like a map. When you get to the place where you can’t get from one point t o the other point, this is where your question lies, but sitting around watching everyone else move gets YOU nowhere!

  1. STOP saying but “I don’t know (how), and figure out how to get it done.

Obviously, I’m going to suggest Google again here, but in 2019, there’s usually some kind of coach for that. That’s part of the beauty of the age of social media and the internet. Of course there may be fees attached, so if you are not totally prepared for them, don’t be discouraged. Save up! What’s the best way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
True growth is a process, and saying ‘I don’t know’ is almost like a horrible excuse in this day and age. If we were in the 1900’s, we could be better understand. Idk is usually where your passion starts and where the journey begins.

  1. STOP waiting on someone to come save you.

The hardest thing I had to accept last year was no one was coming to save me. I think it really hit me, when I had to return home to McComb, a second time after years of being away. There’s nothing worse than returning back to a small town, where every place you walk in someone is asking if you are back, and your socially-awkward behind is trying to politely say ‘no, I’m just trying to get my shit together.’ Now before that, I also had to accept and take responsibility of my own actions, but then I had to be honest with myself and what I had to do.
It’s ok to ask for help sometimes, it’s ok to ask for direction sometime, but at the end of the day, baby you must do most of the work yourself-maybe I should say the hardest of the work, and as a believer, I must say sometimes the hardest part may be having patience, faith, and contentment while God does his thing. Even in those times, you must be preparing for your next move or the move after that move, physically or mentally. But imagine you are lost somewhere, and you ask for directions. I know you don’t expect for that person to drive you, or physically pick you up and move you, or transport you somehow to wherever they gave you directions to.
Overall, at the end of the day, no one should ever care about your happiness and future more than you, because you are the one who has to be present and experience it all.

Until next time….peace and blessings.

From Fancy with Love

I’m being honored at the “INSPIRE” Gala in May. Get your tickets. 

Francheska Felder
Francheska Felderhttp://swagheronline.com
Francheska “Fancy” Felder is an award-winning editor, publisher, publicist, and quiet Southern media mogul. In 2010, she launched SwagHer Magazine, an empowerment and lifestyle publication for the Black woman who likes to keep it real, which also doubles as a PR boutique. SwagHer Magazine uses positive media and storytelling to create new narratives and mindsets around Black women, their communities, and the businesses and organizations they lead, while the boutique strategically executes press and brand campaigns. The proud SU alum is also the publicist for Power Influence Radio and hostess of the CEO Chatter LIVE Podcast. Because she battles with bipolar disorder, Fancy is a proud mental health advocate.

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