Life throws so many things at us at one time and can rob us of our joy! Often, we spend so much time trying to repair situations that we lose time and get bogged down with feelings of hopelessness and despair. Then you begin to question everything that you have done wrong that could have contributed to the series of unfortunate events that have now become your life. I’ve learned that even when things are turbulent, they don’t always remain that way.
- First, we must understand that there are some things that are out of our control and the best thing to do is to adjust our responses to be more on the positive side because that positive behavior will foster hope. When you have been through many challenging moments, it can be difficult to remain positive because all that your mind focuses on are the things that we would rather had not gone through; it becomes our highlight reel. The thing about that highlight reel is that it focuses on the negative and we must retrain our minds to remember the positive moments, the joy that we experienced in previous times. Isn’t it amazing how our minds will immediately zone into the negative moments, instead of going to the great outcomes that we have seen with our own eyes? So, the first goal is to retrain our minds to focus more on the positive and less on the negative outcomes. Of course, we can utilize the lessons that we received from the favorable outcomes to garner wisdom, but not to emotionally break us down.
- Positive Efforts! We must take positive steps to regain our joy. Now, what does that mean to you? It could be as simple as speaking positive affirmations throughout the day as a reminder of the great person that you are. During times of challenges and turmoil, we put the things that we used to love to do on the backburner. We experience a loss of motivation and self-inspiration, so take small steps to get back to the things that you love to do. Taking these small steps will require effort from you, do it even though you don’t feel like it. By moving forward even though you don’t want to, you are forging a new path, which will assist in jump-starting those positive emotions and behaviors that have been lying dormant within. If you still feel that this is difficult, ask yourself why you don’t believe you deserve to be happy; there could be something else hiding within you that you haven’t dealt with and needs a little more attention.
- Remember who you are! We live in a world where we can remake ourselves to be anything or anyone that we aspire to be. Now, I’m not saying to become someone who already exists and try to overtake their persona. However, I am stating that we can become the person that you know is within you. We all have dreams and personal goals and aspire to live a good, healthy and wealthy life. Start by creating goals that will get you to a greater place and “ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISH THEMâ€! So many of us get hyped about a new endeavor because it sounds good and feels good in the moment; not calculating the cost. We can’t just be inspired for a moment. We must dig deeper and find out what is motivating us and is it really what we want. If it’s not what we really want, we will continue in a vicious cycle and repeatedly lose our joy. Who wants that? Take some time to yourself and really think about what it is that you want, plan your goals accordingly.
- Take personal time. Learn to take time out and spend it with yourself! We run around the world being everything to everybody and exclude our own needs. It’s almost like having a superman complex and before you know it, you no longer know who you are as a person. This must stop! I know that you have children, spouses, family members and friends who need you but what good are you if you are completely depleted? Learn how to refill your own tank before you pour out to others. It’s not noble to continuously put yourself last because it secretly builds resentment and steals your joy. Guilt is another force driver that steals your joy and that comes from not forgiving yourself for things that you may have done and then you overcompensate to somehow make up for that thing that you did. Guilt is another thief of joy!
In conclusion, learn to be a little selfish when it comes to yourself and the things that you enjoy doing. If you can’t find anyone to do these things with you, do them alone! The world presents its own way, and I believe that we can do the same. Also, stop letting other people have so much weight in your decisions and the things that you do that make you happy. Go out and get that joy back that you lost. Joy is internal, and it seems to get buried in the trials of life, dig out the sludge within and uncover what has always been.
-Anika Ennett
Published Author and Founder of HERR – Healed Empowered Resiliently Restored
HERR is a platform used to empower women and help them get to a place of healing.
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-Photo by Aaron Ledesma
