Are All the Men w/ Intention & Initiative Married?

Are all the men with initiative and intention married? I am beginning to think so. I’m starting to think they have married long ago because they already knew what they wanted in life. These are just my thoughts of course, and I don’t speak much on dating and love, because I am a hopeless romantic at heart with my maternal clock ticking, clothed in caution,  wary of patience, and possibly in a love with a man, who does not yet know himself. So yea, continue reading only if you enjoy entertaining other thoughts. I’m just as lost sis, but I do know who I am. 

I know what I want in a man, and I can spot parts of it when I see it. Sometimes, I venture out and attempt to hold conversations with guys- I can’t even say “date” because it never gets that far. Usually, I’m gone after too many dropped text messages and too much pulling of information because I am the only one trying to hold a conversation with the intent of getting to know someone. 

I’m not saying every guy is only thinking of getting in a woman’s pants, but I am saying I’ve run across too many guys that cannot hold a conversation. It’s really crazy. It’s like being on a game show and giving someone a clue and they are still missing the mark. People say lead by example, but these guys are either not catching on or they don’t care, and I don’t want someone that I have to explain, “hey I asked you a question at the end of my answer to continue the conversation”. I mean, who does? 

So when I asked myself that question, it made me wonder two things. What is it that would someone need to know or possess in order to hold both a conversation and my attention? They would need to care of course, but the initiative and intention are two words that came to mind. 

A man with initiative would not only understand the need for balance between the man and woman and how taking charge of the conversation at times, or anything for that matter would help to alleviate some of the stress we as women carry daily. I love it when a man does things without my asking. Yes, my love language is acts of service. 

I then asked myself what type of men are usually men with initiative or take charge men? What type of behaviors do they display? I don’t mean chauvinistic men or macho man, but the guys I see doing things like washing cars, enjoying their kids, planning BBQs and get-togethers with family friends.  I thought about my online friends and those that I see doing things a loving husband by my definition does. Like I saw a guy whose wife’s birthday is in January, so he’s looking for Black-owned businesses to support. That is a man with both intention and initiative. 

The only problem is men like that are usually already married because they already knew what they wanted in life and they took the initiative to obtain it. They moved with intention. 

These new men as I call them seem to lack these two characteristics. Age does not play a factor in things. I see it across the board with both younger and older men. I’m 36 by the way, so I can date either way and see these new men. It’s like they are just fumbling along, hoping someone will fumble with them. I’m not the one. But it explains why they are available. They appear to hope to stumble across someone. 

For all the men teaching women how to deal with men, someone needs to be teaching and talking to men, giving them some form of guidance as well. If we continue on this way, it’s only less available heterosexual men on the market. 

I hope that last sentence doesn’t sound too harsh or sexist. But that’s how I see things. I would love to know your thoughts on the matter. Let me know in the comments. I’m open to your thoughts but not to arguments. Obviously, I’m seeking healthy convos.  

So are all the men with initiative and intention married?