Black women are magic—resilient, intelligent, beautiful, and worthy of love that mirrors the depth of what we give. Yet, in today’s dating culture, too many of us find ourselves entangled in situationships—those ambiguous, undefined “relationships” where consistency is a foreign concept, and the most effort we receive is a late-night ‘WYD?’ text.
Point, blank, period, we deserve more.
The Reality of Situationships
Situationships often masquerade as casual connections, but for many Black women, they can become emotional limbo. We give our energy, time, and sometimes even our hearts, all while dealing with partners who refuse to commit yet expect girlfriend or even wife benefits. It’s a cycle of inconsistency, mixed signals, and emotional exhaustion.
If you’re constantly questioning where you stand with someone or find yourself justifying their lack of effort, you might be stuck in a situationship. It’s time to ask: is this really what I want, or am I just accepting what’s available?
The ‘WYD?’ Epidemic
Nothing screams low effort like the infamous ‘WYD?’ (what you doing?) text, often sent at odd hours with no real intention of meaningful conversation or action. It’s a placeholder, a way to keep you on the hook without genuine investment. A partner who values you will engage in real conversation, plan dates, and show appreciation through action, not just bare-minimum communication.
A relationship, or even a meaningful connection, requires effort. If someone isn’t putting in the work to know you, understand you, and uplift you, why should you continue giving them access to your energy?
Why We Deserve More
Black women often bear the weight of being strong, nurturing, and understanding. But strength doesn’t mean settling. We deserve partners who show up, who are intentional, and who see us as more than an option or convenience.
We deserve:
- Consistency – Not just when it’s convenient for them.
- Effort – Thoughtful gestures, planned dates, and genuine interest.
- Respect – Our time, feelings, and boundaries should be honored.
- Commitment (if that’s what you want) – Someone who isn’t afraid to claim and cherish you.
How to Shift the Energy
Breaking free from situationships and the ‘WYD?’ culture starts with recognizing your worth and setting standards that align with it.
Here’s how:
- Establish Clear Boundaries – Make it known what you will and won’t tolerate.
- Communicate Your Needs – Don’t be afraid to express what you expect in a relationship.
- Walk Away from Bare-Minimum Energy – If they aren’t meeting your standards, they don’t deserve access to you.
- Date with Intention – Know what you want and don’t settle for less.
- Prioritize Self-Love – A partner should add to your happiness, not be the source of it.
We deserve love that is intentional, fulfilling, and reciprocated. We deserve partners who don’t just check in with a lazy ‘WYD?’ but who show up with action and effort. Situationships and shenanigans may be common, but they don’t have to be our reality. Know your worth, set your standards, and never settle for less than you deserve.
Because, honey, you are the prize.
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