Friday, December 8, 2023

Busy Working On Me


Happy New Year sis! I’ve been MIA and seeking clarity. I was so excited about turning 37 but at the same time, I was slightly overwhelmed because this birthday seemed to bring about a lot of real-life sh*t. 


As I said before, there is nothing sexy about 37, but for me, there was a lot of seriousness surrounding it. I began to think about the big 4 0 and things like insurance and retirement. It’s like aging became real to me and that made things scary. There’s something at this age that says sh*t is about to get real. 


On top of that, I joined a coaching circle and a mastermind, two big investments for me. Not only would these investments be life-changing but they were also financially challenging, and I worried if I would be able to sustain them. Plus, if I’m being honest, I’m not used to someone helping me or holding me accountable. 


In the midst of that, I realized I wanted to be a visibility coach, working with Black women-led businesses, coaches, authors, and girl bosses so that they receive more visibility and establish themselves as an authority. Unfortunately, I knew very little about coaching culture, as I mentioned I only recently acquired two coaches, so I’m learning there’s a whole new world out there. I’m catching on quickly as a student of Aprille Franks (my coach), and Lady Shepsa (my other coach).


And last but not least, I was feeling horrible due to my bipolar medication, so I was battling with the decision to continue my current cocktail, try another one, or discontinue my meds altogether. I’m currently being weaned off one medicine and seeing a small improvement.


Throughout this time I’ve wanted to write but I’ve felt so blah. My life has felt boring but I know this downtime is needed. One of my clients who offers intuitive readings reached out to me and told me to rest as much as I need to because I have a busy year. I sense this as well, so I remind myself to embrace these times instead of shunning them.


It also reminds me of a message I caught while talking with an associate. She shared that she used to feel guilty about falling asleep after getting up early and going about her morning spiritual routine. She felt like she was defeating the purpose of it all but then an old woman told her that she was doing what her body needed when she took her rest and that was a good thing.


When she said that, a lightbulb went off for me because I tend to do the same thing and have the same guilt. And it is easy to understand why we feel this way nowadays. We live in a time that pushes hustle culture so we feel as if we should always be moving and doing something. When in reality, we need time to power off. 


I realized that instead of thinking that I was rewarding myself with rest, I should be making it part of my daily self-care routine, so I have been taking time to myself. But I’m back and I have missed you all. I hope your year is off to an awesome start!

Francheska Felder
Francheska Felderhttp://swagheronline.com
Francheska "Fancy" Felder is the founder/publisher/EIC of SwagHer Magazine. She is a -Single mother of 3 -Libra - Trapping scribe -Lover -Mental health advocate - Country girl -Proud, liberated Black goddess ________________________________________ Long Bio: Francheska “Fancy” Felder is the owner of Fancy’s Thoughts and the award-winning publisher and editor-in-chief of SwagHer Magazine, a lifestyle and empowerment publication for the Black woman who likes to keep it real in life and business. The magazine doubles as a PR boutique offering public relations services and visibility coaching, and Fancy strategically executes brand campaigns for Black women CEOs, coaches, and authors. The former teen mom started the company in 2010 while working as an exotic dancer, but soon after, her love for empowering Black women led her to abandon that lifestyle. She has received awards for her work as a positive news publisher and journalist telling the stories of Black women and other informative news that the Black community finds relevant, including the severe topics of Black mental health and domestic violence. The podcast she co-hosts with Arnya T.M. Davis, Theories & Thoughts, also continues these conversations. Fancy publicly speaks about her battle with bipolar disorder with hopes of helping others begin their wellness paths. She also shares her mental health story in contribution to the I Am a Black Woman- Next Level anthology, an Amazon Best-Seller. In the summer of 2022, RallyUp Magazine, a mental health magazine, featured Fancy as their cover story, where she opened up about receiving her diagnosis. The McComb, Mississippi native is part of Facebook’s independent journalism project, Bulletin, where she publishes The Higher South, and she was a member of the NABJ Entrepreneur Academy powered by CafeMedia in 2021. The Glambitous Guide to Self-Love, Peace, and Confidence contributor is an avid learner and creative. Currently, she is attending Southern University A&M College, completing her bachelor's degree and rearing her three young adults. Fancy enjoys learning more about spirituality, Black history, and feminism in her free time, along with yoga and walking.

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