Happy New Year sis! I’ve been MIA and seeking clarity. I was so excited about turning 37 but at the same time, I was slightly overwhelmed because this birthday seemed to bring about a lot of real-life sh*t.
As I said before, there is nothing sexy about 37, but for me, there was a lot of seriousness surrounding it. I began to think about the big 4 0 and things like insurance and retirement. It’s like aging became real to me and that made things scary. There’s something at this age that says sh*t is about to get real.
On top of that, I joined a coaching circle and a mastermind, two big investments for me. Not only would these investments be life-changing but they were also financially challenging, and I worried if I would be able to sustain them. Plus, if I’m being honest, I’m not used to someone helping me or holding me accountable.
In the midst of that, I realized I wanted to be a visibility coach, working with Black women-led businesses, coaches, authors, and girl bosses so that they receive more visibility and establish themselves as an authority. Unfortunately, I knew very little about coaching culture, as I mentioned I only recently acquired two coaches, so I’m learning there’s a whole new world out there. I’m catching on quickly as a student of Aprille Franks (my coach), and Lady Shepsa (my other coach).
And last but not least, I was feeling horrible due to my bipolar medication, so I was battling with the decision to continue my current cocktail, try another one, or discontinue my meds altogether. I’m currently being weaned off one medicine and seeing a small improvement.
Throughout this time I’ve wanted to write but I’ve felt so blah. My life has felt boring but I know this downtime is needed. One of my clients who offers intuitive readings reached out to me and told me to rest as much as I need to because I have a busy year. I sense this as well, so I remind myself to embrace these times instead of shunning them.
It also reminds me of a message I caught while talking with an associate. She shared that she used to feel guilty about falling asleep after getting up early and going about her morning spiritual routine. She felt like she was defeating the purpose of it all but then an old woman told her that she was doing what her body needed when she took her rest and that was a good thing.
When she said that, a lightbulb went off for me because I tend to do the same thing and have the same guilt. And it is easy to understand why we feel this way nowadays. We live in a time that pushes hustle culture so we feel as if we should always be moving and doing something. When in reality, we need time to power off.
I realized that instead of thinking that I was rewarding myself with rest, I should be making it part of my daily self-care routine, so I have been taking time to myself. But I’m back and I have missed you all. I hope your year is off to an awesome start!