The weekend before last, Arnya and I filmed season 2 of Theories & Thoughts Deep Dive, our streaming TV show. One of our episodes was about dating over 35, and we discussed the differences. I am not sure if I said this one or not, but I realized something else as I was thinking about my own life this morning. Dating over 35 means making healthier decisions.
In the past, I spoke of someone as my future husband because, at the time, that is who I thought he was, but if you also remember, I wrote about allowing love to find me this year, meaning I would no longer run behind this man or any man hoping they would one day see my worth. I did decide to continue dating, but I healthily agreed to date.
Just because someone looks good doesn’t always mean they are suitable for you. I thought I had learned that by the age of 30, but to be honest, I hadn’t because I was still ignoring red flags and the lack of communication. I was still silently hoping to change someone when I know that is unfair to either of us because I have no intentions of changing.
Dating over 35 made me realize that I had to get serious about what type of relationship and future I wanted for myself. Did I want to constantly feel ignored by someone who treats me like I am unimportant? Could I really do that for the rest of my life? Hell no! That’s not the life I want for myself.
We like to think we will have our lives together by the age of 30, then when that doesn’t happen, we pick another number, and we may continue to do this for another decade before we realize that nothing will change on the outside until we change on the inside.
My changes started with valuing myself more. Once I realized who I was, I realized that I should not be treated like I am regular-smegular. I am too good, too much for that. A man who doesn’t recognize my worth obviously doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it, but even more, a man who can’t communicate with me can’t walk with me through life because I will forever feel alone.
