In honor of Mother’s Day, SwagHer Magazine’s Memories of My Dear Mother series holds sacred space for those of us who carry the bittersweet weight of loving a mother no longer here. As someone who knows this ache intimately, I am honored to share the story of SaQuota Reaves — an educator, healer, and fierce advocate for Black and Brown communities navigating loss. Through the memory of her beloved mother, Carolyn Mitchell-Clemons, SaQuota reminds us that though grief may reshape our world, it can never erase the light, wisdom, and fierce love our mothers leave behind. This story is a tender, honest reflection of heartbreak, resilience, and the unbreakable bond between a mother and daughter.
Please tell us about yourself.
SaQuota: My name is SaQuota Reaves. I’m a passionate Special Education teacher, educational leader-in-training, and advocate for healing and empowerment. I’m the founder of EmpowerEd Initiatives, LLC, a hub for transformative work that centers education, healing, sisterhood, and wellness. Under this umbrella, I lead several initiatives:
- EmpowerEd Consulting: Providing professional development, behavior intervention strategies, and leadership coaching to educators and school communities.
- Healing Untouched Wounds (H.U.W.): A grief-centered initiative offering healing spaces and support for Black and Brown communities navigating the loss of a loved one — including the complex grief that comes from disconnection, estrangement, or unresolved relationships.
- Her Crown Collective: A sisterhood group for Black women focused on healing, connection, and empowerment through intentional gatherings and shared experiences.
- Blooming Beyond PCOS: An online community supporting Black women on their PCOS journey, offering education, empowerment, and sisterhood around holistic wellness.
Through these efforts, my mission is to create spaces where people — especially Black and Brown women and youth — feel seen, supported, and empowered to grow personally, professionally, and holistically.
Please tell us about your mother.
SaQuota: My mother was truly amazing. As an only child, she was my entire world — my biggest cheerleader, my guiding light, and the foundation of everything I am today. She worked hard not just to provide for me, but to show me the importance of being a good person — kind, strong, and true to myself. She helped me navigate life with grace and resilience, teaching me how to use what I have to build the life I want.
She always reminded me to love myself deeply and to never be afraid to chase my dreams. Her encouragement wasn’t just words — it was action. She pushed me, supported me, and made sure I knew my worth. Losing her was the most painful experience I’ve ever faced, but everything I do now is rooted in what she taught me: to live fully, love boldly, and walk in purpose.
What was life like for you when your mom first passed away?
SaQuota: When my mom passed, everything in my world changed. It was just three months before my first college graduation — a milestone she had been pushing me toward my whole life. Instead of celebrating with her by my side, I was trying to hold it together, carrying the weight of both my grief and the pressure to keep going.
As an only child, the bond I had with my mother was everything. Losing her felt like losing a part of myself. I didn’t just feel sad — I felt angry. Angry at the world, angry at the people around me who didn’t seem to understand the depth of my pain, and even angry at God for taking the one person who had always shown up for me. That anger started to show up in how I interacted with others. I began to isolate myself, pushing people away who only wanted to help.
Eventually, I realized I couldn’t keep carrying all of that by myself. I started therapy — and that became one of the most important steps in my healing journey. It gave me space to feel everything I was afraid to say out loud, and slowly, I began to see that I could hold my grief and my growth at the same time. My mother taught me how to be strong, and even in her absence, I’m still learning how to carry that strength forward.
How has life been since the loss of your mom?
SaQuota: Life hasn’t been the same without her — but I know she’s still with me, in everything I do and in every life I touch. I carry her legacy in my heart, and I honor her by living fully, loving deeply, and showing others that healing is possible — even after unimaginable loss. I currently lead EmpowerEd Initiatives, Healing Untouched Wounds, Her Crown Collective, and Blooming Beyond PCOS — each one rooted in the love, wisdom, and resilience my mother poured into me.
How were you able to navigate the loss?
SaQuota: Navigating the loss of my mother has been one of the hardest journeys of my life, but also the one that has shaped me the most. In the beginning, I was overwhelmed with grief and anger, unsure how to move forward without the one person who had always been my anchor. I knew I couldn’t carry that pain alone, so I made the decision to start therapy. That was the first step in learning how to hold space for my emotions while also finding tools to heal.
From there, I began sharing my story — speaking about my journey and choosing to heal out loud. That vulnerability led to the creation of Healing Untouched Wounds (H.U.W.), which began with an annual Mother’s Day Brunch honoring women who’ve lost their mothers. It’s since grown into a space for anyone grieving, including those mourning disconnection and unresolved relationships.
As I kept healing, I also started writing. I began saying “yes” to the things I was called to do — pouring into my purpose, walking boldly in my gifts, and allowing my pain to birth something meaningful. Every step I’ve taken since has been rooted in honoring her, living fully, and doing the work I know I was created for.
What are your best memories of your mom that you keep in your heart?
SaQuota: Some of my best memories of my mom are in the kitchen and surrounded by books. We used to cook soul food together — those moments were full of laughter, love, and lessons. My favorite meal we made was cubed steak, yellow rice, baked mac and cheese, and peas. Just thinking about it takes me back to a place of comfort and warmth, where it felt like everything was right in the world.
She also passed down to me her love for reading and writing. She would take me to the library and bookstores, helping me pick out books and encouraging me to explore my imagination. Those trips sparked something in me that never left. Because of her, I found joy in storytelling, power in words, and healing through writing. Those memories are forever tucked in my heart and continue to shape who I am today.
What advice would you give to someone coping with the loss of their mother?
SaQuota: Losing your mother is a pain that words can’t fully describe. My advice to anyone coping with that kind of loss is to give yourself permission to feel everything — the grief, the anger, the confusion, even the moments of joy that sneak in. Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and healing isn’t linear.
One thing that’s helped me tremendously is creating a living memory of my mom — keeping her legacy alive through the way I live, love, and serve others. Whether it’s cooking her favorite meals, continuing traditions you shared, or doing something meaningful in her honor, find a way to carry her with you in your daily life. That can be your anchor.
Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Therapy gave me a safe space to unpack my emotions. Speaking my story out loud allowed me to connect with others and reminded me I wasn’t alone. Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. Your healing doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s — just take it one breath, one memory, and one moment at a time.
Your mother may be gone in the physical, but her love, her lessons, and her spirit can still guide you.
As we honor Mother’s Day, let SaQuota Reaves’ story be a beautiful reminder that the love of a mother doesn’t end — it transforms. Carolyn Mitchell-Clemons lives on in every healing space SaQuota creates, in every young person she empowers, and in every woman she gathers in sisterhood. Grief may be heavy, but so is legacy. And through SaQuota’s voice, we see that the most profound way to honor those we’ve lost is by living boldly, loving deeply, and using our pain to uplift others. To anyone walking this tender path — you are not alone, and your mother’s light is still with you, always.
Forever rest in power Carolyn Mitchell-Clemons (January 5, 1969 – February 16, 2013)
Be sure to connect with SaQuota on social media:
Facebook: SaQuota Reaves
Instagram: Lovette__
Read more Memories of My Dear Mother here.
