This year my 15-year old daughter Dylan was elected class vice president, and I learned a huge lesson about going for what you deserve.
When it was time for class elections at Dylan’s school, she initially said she wanted to run for president then circled back and said vice president. I did think the president position might be too far of a stretch because one thing about her school is most of the students there have been attending school together since middle school if not longer, so there is a closeness there that’s somewhat of an advantage.
But then Dylan’s friends shared what they each would be running for, and two friends decided to be running mates (of a sort) and declared they would be running for the positions of president and vice president. They suggested Dylan run for secretary instead.
From the start, this did not sit well with her. When she came in from school that day and recapped what happened, my first thoughts are well secretary is safer, I knew it was something she could do, and it got her in the room. I also knew it might be hard for her to go against her friends, but I also knew Dylan marches to her own beat.
If this would have been one of my other two children, they would have gone along with it, but not Dylan. “What do I look like being….. secretary? “ she asked me almost with disgust.
When I was in high school, starting as secretary was how I made my way to the student council president. So it made all the sense in the world to me that she run for secretary this year and maybe vice president next year.
For over a week, Dylan came in each day after school and weighed the pros and cons of running for each position and pointed out her strengths and weaknesses, also pointing out the awkward situations that would arise as she and her friends discussed the upcoming election. After a week, I was tired of hearing about it, but I listened anyway and gave input where I could.
Then on the day when it was time to submit their names for their desired position, Dylan came in and told me that she signed up for the vice president position. I was simply like ‘ok’. I thought we were settled on the secretary position. I didn’t know how it would turn out, but I literally prayed every night that she would win because I didn’t want to spend the next two weeks hearing about her losing.
Homecoming elections took place before the class elections, so each day Dylan came home sharing what extravagant campaigning the students were doing and I worried how we could compete when it came time for her to campaign.
Fortunately, the student government sponsor did not want all the extra when it was their turn, but several students still had some really cool stuff. Meanwhile, I nearly broke my neck scrambling to get Dylan items for the end of the week, while silently praying that her support was based on the strength of her being likable and not cool merchandise and gourmet popcorn in customized bags.
And while she was antsy about the outcome, not once Dylan say she wished she had gone with the decision to run for secretary. It never seemed to cross her mind. She knew she had what it takes to be vice president, and though she was fairly new to the school family, she had also spent most of the previous school year and summer attending parties and dinners of various groups and supporting. I don’t think she was plotting to secure their votes back then but really more like looking for a group that she fit into, and to be honest, she never quite found an exact fit, but she was now pretty cool with everyone.
On the day of the elections, she said that many of her classmates shared that they voted for her, which gave us peace of mind over the weekend, but even I woke up nervous on Monday. Unfortunately, they didn’t give the results that day and by the next day, I was a little worried about the outcome and Dylan did seem a little less confident, but she again she didn’t falter from her decision.
However, by that afternoon, the winners were announced and Dylan won! She won though she was still somewhat of an outsider and hadn’t nearly campaigned as hard as other kids, she had been her genuine self and she believed she deserved this position.
While many may say this was only a high school election, and it was, the thing I was blown away by was Dylan’s determination to get not just what she wanted but what she felt she deserved. Class secretary is good, but she wanted to be one of the top voices heard when it came down to the decisions being made about her class, and it was that or nothing. She’d risk no seat at the table if it meant not getting the one she felt worthy.
That’s how many of us need to start going for what we want in life. Stop playing it safe and settling for seconds, when we know within our hearts that we want first and see it as what we deserve. DEMAND IT even when others are in your ear telling you you may want to reconsider. Go for what you want!
SN- Dylan is not a cheerleader. That was some school activity.
