I don’t know about you, but I spent many years behaving the way society dictated! Yes, I had my moments when I acted out, because I didn’t agree; however, I had more moments when I remained silent, because it was politically correct. Some days it’s a challenge not to fall back into the old mindset, but it’s time to break out of the “people’s†mold. I’ve adopted the attitude, it is what it is, and I found my voice! Have you found yours? I’ve re-created my voice, and this is how I did it!
- Accepted who I was and that I was different from everyone else. The truth is, it took a lot to “tame†myself to be the person that the world thought that I should be. I spent so much energy talking myself out of situations, because I hated confrontation. However, confrontation cannot always be avoided. Learn to accept the person that you are, not who people think you should be and most importantly, don’t dim your light because someone has can’t stand the glare! If there is a place or situation that needs your voice, speak up! No, you don’t have to combative; however, you can state your facts and your reasoning without all the apologies.
- Be assertive. I’ve found that often there is confusion between aggression and being assertive. When an individual is aggressive, there is usually anger or a bullying type of spirit attached to it. The aggressive person can’t simply state their viewpoints without coming off as being rough in the delivery and if things aren’t seen their way, there is no room for compromise. Also, aggressive behavior has little room to hear what others say. Now, I do believe that there are appropriate times when we must be aggressive, and that is during times where timidity will not make the change that we are seeking, but for the most part being assertive is the way to go. Assertiveness allows for self-expression and for others to have the ability to hear what we are saying. Often, people are afraid to be assertive, because they are scared that by speaking their mind clearly, that they may lose friends or even loved ones because honesty can hurt. However, it’s more difficult to live with yourself when you’re not being honest with yourself!
- Freedom to be YOU! It’s HARD being someone that you are not! I don’t care what anyone says, it’s difficult. Reflecting on the self-acceptance that I spoke of earlier, love the person that you were created to be. Know it or not, someone somewhere values the genuine person that you are. In fact someone needs the genuine person that you are. I know that hearing positive affirmations and the flowery words of encouragement about being the best person that you can be gets old, I get it! However, on a much deeper level, these things are so true. We get lost in a world of social media, where you can lie about being something that you aren’t, but you can make the choice to be unapologetically you and be great in the world. Freedom came at a price for many people, for many different reasons. Freedom allows you to love yourself and love others just as they are. Embrace the uniqueness of yourself and that of others; it’s a beautiful thing. This same freedom allows you to continue to learn who you are, the things that you love and the new things that may be introduced into your life.Â
In short, if people can’t appreciate who you are, the real you, then it is what it is!
-Anika Ennett
Published Author and Founder of HERR – Healed Empowered Resiliently Restored
HERR is a platform used to empower women and help them get to a place of healing.
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