Living Intentional With Dr. Sheila

Dr. Sheila Williams is an author, radio/TV show host, life strategist, mental health advocate, speaker, trainer and coach. In everything she does, she focuses on mental health and overall well-being. Dr. Sheila believes she has a strong proponent for health (mental, financial, spiritual etc) and a purpose of serving the community to bring awareness, choosing to be very transparent about her life as a means of bringing hope, healing and inspiration to others.  She has been featured in numerous newspapers, radio and tv shows and recently was interviewed by Sister Circle TV, AIB and Rolling Out Magazine.

Fancy: How would you describe your swagher? What makes Dr. Sheila, Dr. Sheila?

Dr. Sheila: My swagher is perplex/complicated, yet simple. It’s professional, yet down to earth. My swagher is intelligent and sophisticated, yet I’m still just your round the way girl.

What makes Dr. Sheila, Dr. Sheila is that I’ve had many trials, many obstacles in my life but have been able to strategically overcome those challenges to use them as opportunities of self-discovery, as well as opportunities of growth. Having been raised by a mother who suffered from an undiagnosed mental illness, with a father who had a sixth grade education, but had the drive and tenacity of 100 men combined, I experienced challenges, and triumphs as a child that have molded me into the woman I am today.

Having such experiences, taught me the importance of having faith in God, remaining grounded and humble and the importance of appreciating each day as if it were your last. These experiences also taught me the importance of education, hard work, determination and how to not only learn from mistakes but to take those life lessons to be a blessing to someone else.

Having advanced degrees, a Master’s in Mental Health Counseling, and a PhD in Leadership and Education, has not only equipped me with knowledge and understanding, but this education and professional expertise had afforded me the opportunity to counsel, educate, train and collaborate with some of the most amazing people in the world.

As a member of the John Maxwell Team, I am a speaker, trainer and a coach. This as well, allows me to ‘pay it forward’ by bringing the knowledge and experience I have to those that may be in need of a leadership expert.

Everything I do is intentional. It is my goal to live my life as not only an advocate for mental health awareness, but as a Samaritan of good will, love, and understanding.

Fancy: You wear many hats, but I’d like to start with your book first, My Mother’s Keeper. Tell us a little about your book and what inspired you to write it.

Dr. Sheila: My entire life I’ve been very transparent about my life, my experiences, both good and bad. However, because my mother was very embarrassed about her diagnosis of clinical depression, this was one area, a very integral component of my life, I was not able to share. Before she passed away, she gave me the permission to tell her story. When she passed in 2012, I prayed for two years before finally deciding to write the book. I asked God to guide my words, and to allow the book to grow legs and reach exactly who and where it needed to reach. In being transparent about my life, my mother’s struggle with mental illness, family dysfunction, etc., it is my goal that I will bring awareness about mental illness. Mental illness affects 1 in every 4 individuals at some point in our lives. This statistic is real, regardless of race, religion, sex or age, mental illness does not discriminate. By telling my story I want to remove the stigma associated with mental illness. I wrote My Mother’s Keeper to not only be a voice to my mother, Mattie Williams, but to be a voice for so many others suffering from mental illness, or those who are caring for someone with a mental illness. It is important to know that when a loved one suffers from mental illness, it not only affects that individual, it affects the family members and loved ones as well. By telling my story, I wish to bring hope, healing and inspiration to others.

Fancy: From our talks and also one of your other interviews, I noticed you mentioned two things, waiting to share your mom’s story and having to include other family members within your story. So I wanted to know why you waited and how did you deal with the latter?

Dr. Sheila: I waited to tell my story, Mom’s story, because it wasn’t’ completely about me. When telling my life’s story, I had to take into consideration the fact that my mother was embarrassed, ashamed of her mental illness. This is how many people with mental illness feel. She never felt as if she fit in. She never felt as if she was good enough. Prior to her passing away, we had many very profound conversations, one of which was about her mental illness and her life’s story. She gave me the go ahead to finally share my story, her story right before she passed away. At this point, she was on hospice and knew she wouldn’t live much longer. At this point it was ‘safe’ to tell her story. I respected her wishes and did not write the book until after she passed away in 2012. From 2012 to 2014, I continued my prayer as to how I wanted to present the information in the book and how I wanted to publish and market it. I didn’t write the book to make money or for it to be a bestseller, I wrote My Mother’s Keeper to be of positive impact to those who needed it.

Although My Mother’s Keeper does include information about family dysfunction, most of my family have read it, and have in fact thanked me for writing the book. Although it was difficult to write about the family dysfunction and to air the “dirty laundry”, the fact is all families experience discourse, dysfunction of some kind. I didn’t feel then, nor do I feel now, any reservations about telling the truth.  I have the support and love from most of my family and know that I did the right thing by writing this book, so I have no regrets about disclosing the information that I did.

Fancy: As parents struggling with mental health, we often don’t think about or forget how our issues may affect our children. Do you have insight for parents on the matter?

Dr. Sheila: Yes, most definitely. I would agree that the children are most often forgotten about. This not only occurs with children of parents with mental illness, this also occurs with children who’s parents have alcohol or drug related issues as well as those who witness domestic violence of their parents.

It is imperative that as parents we realize that everything we do affects our children. Choosing to not get treatment for mental illness directly affects parents’ ability to appropriately care for their children in a healthy state. Whether directly or indirectly, children are affected when parents have mental illness. However, when mental illness is not addressed, not treated, it compounds the problem. Not only do the parents personally suffer due to the lack of treatment for their illness, their ability to effectively care for their children is negatively impacted. There is a direct correlation indicating that some mental illnesses carry a hereditary trait. Not getting treatment, not addressing mental illness, creates a generational dysfunction within the family for years to come.

Fancy: Now tell us a little about your show Transformational Talk and what inspired it.

Dr. Sheila: Transformational Talk with Dr. Sheila came about when the producers of Hype Media Global heard me on an interview with another host. After having done so many radio interviews, my name, the title of my book, my message, was beginning to get noticed. I was asked to host my own show, I accepted. I chose the title of the show as Transformational Talk, as I believe that it is my purpose in life to cause a “transformation” in the way people see and view things. As a mental health advocate, it is my goal to transform the way in which the world views mental health. With my radio show, Transformational Talk, it is no different.

My inspiration and purpose for Transformational Talk is to cause a shift in the way people think about and view things. It is important for us to know that there are other perspectives, other views to things. Transformational Talk provides open conversations and dialog about topics we all face. It is my goal to motivate, inspire, and encourage others to live their lives to their fullest potential despite any challenges they may be currently experiencing or anything they perhaps have experienced in the past.  

Fancy: I like the fact that you don’t believe in taking “no” for an answer. You’ve shown that by not only graduating from college with your Bachelor’s degree, but going on and obtaining your Master’s and Doctorate. Why do you think it is important for women to understand this concept?

Dr. Sheila: Thank you. I believe it’s important for women (and men) to understand that accepting “no”, when you know it’s your purpose, is never an option. I’ve chosen to persevere, even when told “no”, because I have prayed, meditated, and it has been revealed to me certain things are destined to be. I know my purpose in life is to heal and bring hope. I know God doesn’t make mistakes. I know that my voice, my message was meant to be heard. By accepting “no”, I am telling God that His plan for my life is not good enough or that I don’t believe it. I work extremely hard because I know that anything worth having is worth working for. I believe that my experiences, my knowledge, my expertise, have all been given to me to heal a nation, a world of people. God has blessed me to be “the voice” and I walk into my purpose. Had I listened to my high school guidance counselor, I would not be Dr. Sheila D. Williams today. He told me that college was not ‘for me’ and that I’d never be successful. I’ve received a lot of “no’s” in my life, and that is okay, because even though the answer may be “no” right now, it doesn’t mean that it will be “no” forever. When you know your purpose, accepting “no as an answer to your purpose, simply is not an option.

Fancy: Can you share some tips on how women can practice not accepting “no” as an answer?

Dr. Sheila: Yes, most certainly. First it is important to understand who you are, where you come from, what your goals are, and God’s purpose for your life. I believe that it is imperative to be true and transparent with ourselves first. I would suggest every woman take time to discover who they truly are. Date yourself. Love yourself. Pamper yourself. Meditate, Pray and ask God for guidance and understanding. Spend time alone. Read a book. Travel, eat dinner, go to the movies, walk on the beach alone. Many women are constantly around other people, and are afraid to be alone. Of course, if you are married and/or have children, this alone time may need to be planned and scheduled. Whatever, needs to be done to schedule in the alone time, please take time for yourself when or if you can. While alone, journal, take notes, write a plan to yourself and be honest about the things you really want in life.

Be intentional about what makes you happy. Learn to love yourself and learn to be comfortable being in your own presence. Give yourself daily positive affirmations, speak them to yourself in the mirror each day. Remind yourself just how beautiful and talented you are. Be intentional. Stand in the mirror for five minutes straight just looking at yourself. Be honest with the woman in the mirror. Find out what it is that makes you, you. What makes you happy, sad, and what keeps you motivated? Be honest with yourself about unresolved issues. If you are still dealing with past hurts and issues, seek help and remember that in order to build a mansion, you must first start with a solid foundation. Once you’ve become honest with yourself, comfortable with who you are, walk into your purpose and keep walking, don’t look back. When you’re in your true purpose and know your value, you will no longer accept “no” as an answer.

Fancy: Do you have any upcoming events or projects that you care to share?

Dr. Sheila: I have created a FB Group for women who are ‘Intentional’ about reaching their next level of success either personally or professionally in their lives. The group is for and about positive women who are making moves and also supporting the next queen with reaching her goals as well. This is not just a group, it’s a movement. I encourage all Intentional Women to join the movement: Intentionally Accomplished Women – FB

This year, 2018, is the 10 year anniversary of me completing my PhD. My dissertation was published through ProQuest, but is now being developed into a textbook. I’m very excited about this, and the book will be complete later this summer. I will have a release date and launch to come.

This year, I will also release additional resources to accompany My Mother’s Keeper as well as my 2^nd book will be released this year. I will have a release date and launch. Please check IG, FB and website for upcoming information.

Additional resources, services will be made available on my website www.DrSheilaDWilliams.com, so please check back often for updates and additional information.

This article is also included in our Changing the Narrative issue.