As of July 1st, SwagHer Magazine has been in business for eight years. I’d like to act like I didn’t seriously think of quitting at any point throughout that time, but to be honest; the thought probably crossed my mind seriously at least once each year. However, I believe in seeing things through. Plus the thought of quitting when the finish line may be right around the corner, but I just can’t see it, scares the hell out of me. So with those two things and the grace of God, we’re still here. Therefore, over the next eight days, I’ll be sharing eight tips about what I’ve learned in business.
Today’s topic: Make sure you are not the only person with skin in the game.
The skin in the game concept never hit me until working with a PR and branding client last year that wanted to bring a speaker into town for an event. He was funding everything as well as paying her to attend. After weeks of getting everything in order and going back and forth with her people, he announced that he wanted to her to do something to promote the event. “I have to see if she is willing to put some skin in the game, if I am doing all of this,†he said. I hadn’t ever heard the term before or at least, I hadn’t ever paid attention to it, but it reminded me of the L’s I had taken in the past collaborating with others.
Entrepreneurship can be lonely as hell at times. Family and friends don’t always understand what all we go through, so it is natural that when you meet a fellow like minded entrepreneur you may want to collaborate. Collaboration is actually a good thing. In this day and age, collaborations can give your brand the credibility or boost that you need to get to the next phase or at least increase your following and network. But don’t be a fool. Make certain that other person or business is putting as much as in as you are.
About two years ago, I decided to collaborate with someone on a venture for women. Initially, I thought this was a great idea, because we both seem to have the same mission. We worked in the same industry, and though we both had done so for years, neither of us seemed to be where we should be.
So after several talks we decided we would work together on a project and things seemed to be going fine, but looking back I ignored the red flags. For example, while our mission was supposed to be about helping other women, I often sensed the other person didn’t really care for other women. Nevertheless, I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and pursued the venture anyway.
We planned a big event, but we had low sponsorship. So I went to one of my clients I had at the time and asked for a loan. I had never asked for that much money from anyone, so I was shocked as hell when they agreed, but I believed in the project and thought it would be a success.
It wasn’t. And guess who was left holding the bag? I was stressing and trying to figure out how we could bring money in to start paying the loan. Meanwhile my “partner†was riding the high of the being associated with the SwagHer brand.  It was about this time that I began to notice the other person joking about how we worked so well together because she was more out-front, and I didn’t mind being behind the scenes. First of all, I was in the back, because as the writer of the two, I had way more responsibility being that this was something we were just getting off the ground. I wanted to be sure things were being executed and completed.  I’m introverted yes, but I’m not stupid. I want credit for my hard work.Â
I also noticed that whenever I talked about how we need to get everything together business structure-wise, she would grow silent or say she wanted more time to research things. She never fully committed. Long story short, the loan is still my problem and I hadn’t talked to my “partner†in over a year. I quietly distanced myself.
Many will say this is why you need contracts, but in my honest opinion, contracts are only good when you have enough money to pursue legal action and that other person has enough money to go after. Otherwise, I just don’t see what one gets out of it.  For example, I had another incident with a radio host whom I tried referring clients to increase their exposure. We paid them for a spot out of the ad monies paid to us. I didn’t charge anything extra on top or ask for a cut or anything. I simply wanted to make sure our adverting clients were getting more reach. The other party never interviewed our client, nor returned my money. When I tried going to the Better Business Bureau, they couldn’t even contact her, because her affairs were not completely set up. So that was another loss.
You can’t wear your feelings on your sleeve in business, but yea, I was pretty hurt behind these incidents. For a little while, I had trust issues and was afraid to work with other people.  It seemed like I always got the short end of the stick. However, I realized my isolation was keeping my growth stagnant, so I would have to put myself back out there in some form or fashion but I had to be more cautious. I also realized that part of my own problem is I never want anyone to feel like I’m not carrying my weight, so I ended screwing myself by carrying the extra weight of others as well.
Don’t make the same mistakes I have. If you find yourself putting more effort into something than someone, pull out! Abort mission! If you find yourself putting out more than the other party, funding more than the other party, or stressing more than the other party, there’s an imbalance and it’s not a partnership. Hell, they should be paying you as a contractor/coach/PR rep/ marketer or something. It’s like a relationship. Don’t keep them around just so you are not alone, because in reality, you are alone anyways.
