What kind of friend are you?
As I prepared to write this article, I thought about my friends. I am one of those people who know many people but ONLY have a select few who are my true friends. I have a best friend that I talk to daily and other friends that I go days, weeks, months, and at times years without speaking to, but when we get together, it is as if we never missed a beat. There are women that run in a “Tribe.” All of their friends talk to one another, and they are close-knit. Others may prefer friendship as I do—a collection of friends who may or may not know one another. In a crisis, I can call on any of them, and they will come running. No matter how your friendships look, I truly believe your friends bring out the best parts of you.Â
Thinking of National Friendship Month, I thought of a time when I was told that I wasn’t a good friend. My insecurities in relationships spilled over to my friendships. When there was an argument, instead of going to my side and cooling down, I would say, I didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. It was a rejection tool that I had learned when things didn’t look right. Yes, there were things that I didn’t like in our friendship, but I didn’t know how to say it. When I would say something about it, I felt she didn’t take it seriously. That friendship has since ended four years now. I look back and think of just what type of friend I am to the people I love the most.
Several years ago, I decided to tell my friends that I love them when leaving their presence or getting off the phone. It was my way of reminding them that they were important to me. I send random text messages letting my friends know how much I love them and what they mean to me. I no longer say I don’t want to be friends anymore. That is childish; I talk it out. I may not like what they have to say, but I say my piece and allow them to express theirs. There may not be a resolution, but as long as both parties have said their piece, it will not fade if it was real. I have friends that tell me that I make everyone feel special. I try to because I know that I need to feel special when talking to my friends. If I am having a bad day, I want to feel that I am the only one that matters to them at that moment. That may not be the exact truth, but it is my perception as long as I feel that way. I respect my friends’ marriages and relationships, and I’m a listening ear when they need me. I NEVER tell them to leave, but I do let them know that I back them 100% whatever their decision is. It is never my place to tell someone to leave their marriage or relationship. I can be moody at times, but I listen when I am told that I am wrong. If your friends can not tell you about you and you take it into consideration, why are they your friends?
I had to sit back and take in what would make a person want to be friends with me. Am I perfect? No, but I am loyal, honest, and trustworthy. I will be there in some form when you need me. If I can’t be there, I have a helluva reason why I am not. I give what I need in my friendships, in an effort for it to come back to me in return. Life is too short not to have people around you that bring out the very best version of you.
This National Friendship Month, evaluate yourself. We spend so much time saying how others are not good friends. Are you really a good friend? Are you a good friend to some and not to others? Why do you feel your friends stick around? If there are things that you don’t like about yourself, take a moment to change it. Proverbs 18:24 states, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.” Show yourself friendly, and the right energy will come. I am so glad that I have the right friends around now. Some are new, and others are from years ago, but I know one thing, they bring out my truth and allow me to live it.
Happy National Friendship Month!
