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Say My Name: How to be Dominant in the Bedroom

Being sexually dominant in bed isn’t a solo act; it’s collaborative. It’s about exchanging pleasure with your partner through control, boundaries, and respect. What’s sexier than a partner who exudes confidence in the bedroom? Nothing. Don’t get it twisted; confidence and arrogance are two different things; no one wants a shit-talker; we want a dirty talker. What you want is a mate who will take your breath away. A lover who makes you orgasm in silence because your moans are so thick and deep, that you can hardly breathe. You want someone who makes you shiver from the mire thought of them. Someone with a glare so dark and devious, that it causes your sexy parts to stand at attention or have you dripping like rain. What you want is a sexual beast to devour you and then stroke or ride you into a deep slumber.  

 

Have you always wanted to be sexually dominant in the bedroom? Here are a few tips to get you started: 

  • Dirty talk: Sexting and random rants about how your significant other will be in trouble when you see them is exciting and sexy. So many of us get the chills from anticipating merging into our partner and basking in their love. Stimulation of the mind is imperative. If you can’t stimulate the brain, you won’t stimulate that thang. 
  • Do what you came to do: You told your mate it was going down once you laid eyes on them. Well, the time has come for you to prove that you say what you mean and mean what you say. You must live up to the hype. As you said, spanking, biting, and yanking have to happen. Your partner needs to see flames dancing in your eyes. They need to know your hunger for them through every kiss and touch. That’s the time to make it clear that their body belongs to you from that moment forward. 
  • Demand & Command: “Before we start, I want you to strip for me”, “Look at me, or I’ll stop”, “Shh, I said, take it quietly”, “Tell me how good it feels right now.” “Open your eyes; I want you to see what you’re doing to me.” You’re letting your lover know you’re the boss, and the boss gets what the boss wants.
  • Affirmation Play: If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, praise kink may be for them. Cheering your lover to the finish line (climax) can boost their confidence, feelings about themselves, and being intimate in general. Using phrases such as, “You look so beautiful when you moan,” “Don’t run, you can take it,” “I can’t stop, you’re almost there,” “I feel it, but I won’t give it to you. Take it from me, baby. I know you can.” 
  • Aftercare: Once the fun is over and you’ve caught your breath, it’s imperative to care for yourself and your partner. Bathe your partner, hydrate, kiss the sore spots, offer a full body massage, and rest. Both of you need to recover before the next round begins. 
  • Make them beg for more: They will want more of you after you’ve put it on them. Encourage your partner to tell you what they want you to do to them. Example: 

Your partner: “I want you.”

You: “To do what?”

Your partner: *hesitates*

You: “Say it. Tell me what you want me to do to you, and I’ll do it.”

Your partner: *says what they want*

You: “Come here…” *does what they wanted you to do* 

Do you have what it takes to dominate the bedroom? 

 

Article Written by: Obsession | is a romance and erotica author, blogger, photographer, and artist from Chicago, IL.

Social media handles:

Instagram: @authorobsession

Facebook: Novelist Obsession 

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Snapchat: Obsession_theprettywriter

My favorite topics to write about are:

  • Relationships
  • Emerging Artists
  • Books (I’m a bookworm who loves reviewing books)
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