1. Make your intentions known as soon as possibleÂÂ
One thing people hate the most on dating apps is when their time is wasted. Being clear about your intentions, why you got on a dating app, and what you hope to get out of it will make it clear to whoever you’re messaging if you both want the same things. If you do end up having the same goal in mind, the chances of you being ghosted significantly decreases.
2. Keep things short & sweetÂÂ
Don’t tell people your whole life story. This is a dating app, not a therapy session! No one is down to read a five-paragraph essay about someone they just started getting to know. We are all SUPER busy, so if someone doesn’t have to think too hard about every message sent, the conversation has a better chance of lasting.ÂÂ
3. Ask Questions and Stay Interested in Getting to Know Them
If you’re getting one reply for every five messages sent, it’s not a good sign, fam. The conversation is clearly one-sided. It’s important when dating that you allow people to get to know you. However, be sure you are always asking questions about them and giving them an opportunity to engage. The point of talking is to learn what you have in common, future goals, values, and personalities, and if you aren’t learning, then it’s a red flag.ÂÂ
4. Avoid Sensitive TopicsÂÂ
2020 was the year that many people became shameless in expressing their views on key topics from politics, social issues, systemic racism, and racial injustice, etc. Yet, when it comes to people’s lives, they aren’t always as vocally forward. If you notice someone is avoiding a question or certain topic, don’t pry to get answers out of them, it will make them uncomfortable and leave you ghosted. Take a hint!ÂÂ
5. Make PlansÂÂ
It’s important to AVOID talking to someone for a month without actually hopping on a video call. You want to make sure you aren’t getting catfished, but hear their voice and see their mannerisms, and make sure there is chemistry between you two to hold an ACTUAL conversation. Get creative with it! Plan to have a virtual dinner date, drinks, or even sign up for a virtual class together. This will help you get a better feel of the mutual vibe and help determine if things can progress from digital dating to an IRL (in real life) relationship. If you haven’t made video chat or, at the bare minimum, voice chat plans after about two weeks of messaging, it probably won’t happen, no cap.ÂÂ
The bottom line. Someone deciding to end a conversation with you could be something you did. Someone deciding to end a conversation with you could have something to do with them. You never know! Don’t take ghosting too personally or spend too much time trying to figure out what went wrong. You may have actually dodged a bullet! Instead, forget about that ghost and keep looking for that person that will give you life!ÂÂ
About Jonathan Kirkland:ÂÂ
With over 14 years of experience developing successful marketing strategies for renowned lifestyle brands, Jonathan Kirkland is currently the Head of BLK, a subsidiary of The Match Group and the leading dating and lifestyle app for Black singles. In this role, he formulates the BLK brand vision and ensures its reflected across all marketing touchpoints, including content strategy, digital marketing, brand positioning, influencer engagement, partnerships, and publicity. Understanding the importance of inspiring engagement through community building, he has spearheaded efforts that have bolstered BLK’s presence and market share, establishing the app as a platform where Black love in all its forms and expressions can happen every day. Jonathan is a graduate of North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University; a Historically Black College & University (HBCU) and a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. Having learned the power of building community early on, he encourages a collaborative experience within working culture every day.
