Unlock Your Power This Cuffing Season

Welcome to cuffing season- the period between sundress season and spring where people who have avoided relationships all year suddenly feel the urge to get cuffed or settle into a situationship. This season is ushered in by the cooler weather of fall when many spend more time inside. Many women dread this time because they aren’t prepared to weed out the sincere men from the ones just looking for a little body heat. COVID-19 has presented 2020 with its own set of challenges, and many of us are in desperate need of companionship. You don’t have to be at the mercy of men who are looking for something to pass the time this year. Unlock your power this cuffing season with the following keys. 

“How can my next boyfriend be my next boyfriend? “nEXt” – Sevyn Streeter

Maybe he is hearting all of your pictures on IG all of a sudden in an attempt to get your attention. One thing we can all count on cuffing season to do is to bring worrisome ex-boyfriends out of the woodwork. There is nothing like being relegated inside by cooler weather to make exes begin to scroll the Rolodexes of past relationships looking for someone who still has lingering feelings. Don’t fall for that “Hey, big head” or “Good morning, beautiful” text, though. While a stroll down memory lane may be fun for a while, inevitably, past relationships’ problems will rear their ugly heads. It is important to remember that exes are exes for a reason; barring changed behavior, there is no reason to revisit the past- not even the loneliness of cuffing season. 

Baby, how you doing? Hope that cha fine wanna know what you got in mind… 

-“Lovers & Friends” Lil Jon 

Men aren’t the only ones who look for casual relationships. If you aren’t ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, it is wise to be upfront and honest about that with yourself and any man you meet. When we aren’t clear about what we truly desire, lines become blurred, and we can end up with everything that we DON’T desire. So, if a relationship isn’t what you have in mind, be honest about that. If what you truly need is the commitment of a serious relationship, make sure everyone you meet understands that. Just maybe, you will find both a lover and a friend in one amazing package. 

The closer I get to you, the more you make me see… 

-“The Closer I Get to You” – Roberta Flack 

Many states are going into lockdown again as we are beginning to see the cases of COVID-19 rise again. These parameters can make getting to know someone new challenging. But, with a little creativity, you can create a fraction of the intimacy and connection you’d experience in person. Plan a virtual dinner date where the two of you order in and chat via FaceTime or set a time to cook your favorite dishes together while you chat. Go old school and create a playlist of songs that remind you of them on Spotify or Apple Music and share it. Have a virtual karaoke night with the help of an app like Smule. (You can learn a lot about someone by paying attention to their song choices). Take time to really check in with them throughout the day to let them know you are thinking of them. Time or distance doesn’t have to be a factor when we have so much technology to bring us closer together. 

When I move you move, just like that…

-“Stand Up” – Ludacris

The most crucial key to navigating cuffing season is to understand the rule of mirrors. You don’t want to ever put more or less effort into initiating contact than the person you are seeing. No matter what he tells you, his actions will always reveal his true heart for you. If he calls, you answer or return the call. If he texts, you respond. If he requests a date, you make yourself available. These rules only apply if and only if you are interested in getting to know him. The opposite is also applicable. If he is not making an effort to spend time with you or communicate, you mirror his actions by not initiating contact. 

Like it or not, cuffing season is here. Fear not, lady. We are no longer sitting back and allowing men to dictate the rules of engagement. You now have the keys to make this season exactly what you desire it to be. Which key will you use first? 

-Arnitris Strong

 

Arnitris L. Strong is a certified Christian relationship coach and owner of The Blessed Dating Experience. She supports single women as they heal their hearts to make room for the love they both deserve and desire. Together, they create a plan to date intentionally in preparation for marriage. You can find Arnitris living, loving and laughing and doling out sweet and sassy dating advice as only she can on all social media platforms @blessedbthetie and https://theblesseddatingexperience.online/