Veronica Pryor-Faciane is the CEO/founder of New ID Life Coaching LLC. This wife and mother of four beautiful children authored the newly released book entitled God’s Diamond in The Rough (released March 2019). Those who choose to take this journey with Veronica, will gain insight of how to travel through life’s challenges/obstacles and not allow life’s journey to go through them, which leads to stress, depression, anxiety, and the possible thoughts of suicide.
Before the inception of New ID Life Coaching, Veronica worked and still currently works as an auditor with a major school system for over 18 years in the Baton Rouge area, where she serves as a financial literacy trainer for aspiring principals, as well as training secretaries and principal’s concerning the proper handling of school funds throughout the district.
Fancy: How would you describe your swagher? What makes Veronica, Veronica?
Veronica: Veronica means “True Image and Bringer of Victory.†So my swagher encompasses being a fighter like none other, an ambitious warrior and not a worrier, that embodies determination, dedication, discipline, courage, respectfulness, trustworthiness, compassionate, love and empathy. She is mindful of others, yet respects her own personal boundaries for self-care. Veronica’s swagher came into full existence when I started to learn who she is and not what my environment had shaped me to be during the first 30 years or so of my life. I embody mindful determination to utilize neurolinguistic education to restructure my mindset to one of peace and true happiness in spite life’s adversities. (deep breath) My swagher parallels the meaning of my name, as a victorious queen who overcame her life’s abusive trauma to assist in propelling others towards their greater as well.
Fancy: What was it that led you to attempt suicide?
Veronica: I was tired of being abused, feeling like there was no other way out. I wanted to feel clean and have peace of mind. My abuser gave me the impression that I would never be at peace if he was alive, because I was his property. On this specific day (February 16, 2002), he tried to turn one of my true friends against me. Then he made fun of me the entire evening of what was supposed to be a joyous occasion, my cousin’s wedding. I was taking care of every bill, I was being misused daily sexually, and I felt like God had abandoned me.
Fancy: Did surviving your attempt push you any? If so, how?
Veronica: Yesssss, it pushed me to my next. When you attempt suicide, you must be declared mentally sane by the coroner before your release from the mental institution. My conversation with the coroner had me stop and take a deep breath (metaphorically speaking). He explained that based on the toxicology report, I should not be alive. Yes, I should have transitioned to my next, but God had other plans for me. I experienced bittersweet emotions upon him telling me this. I was grateful, because I didn’t take the time to think about how my death would have affected the children I was directing in church at the time. Yes, I was a choir director. It was a sad state to be in church and still feel all alone.
I thank God for looking at my heart and knowing that I felt hopeless and just wanted a way out, but I really didn’t want it to end like that. I can almost emphatically state that most people who attempt suicide just want a pain of some sort to end. They don’t really want to leave, if that specific state of mind would just be eased and placed at peace. This is one of the reasons I went to school to become a life coach, and now I am back in school to receive another master’s degree in counseling.
Fancy: I know healing looks different to each individual, but what did healing look like for you?
Veronica: Healing for me is a continual process that consists of various stages of life based on the strength of my present mindset.
My healing process:
Forgiveness of my abuser
Forgiving my mom
Forgiving myself for not being stronger sooner to save me
Going through inpatient therapy
Going through outpatient therapy
Learning that having a spouse could not heal me
Learning that having the children that I thought I would never have would give me joy
Learning that I had to push myself to go through what was best for me even when my spouse did not support me in going to therapy at that time. (It is taboo to go psychiatrist or counseling in the black community.)
I learned to have true self-love and not to depend on anyone else to validate me.
I kept going to therapy as needed.
I stop living in isolation and became transparent about my truth, which allowed me to release the weight and baggage that kept me from true mental, physical, and spiritual freedom.
I went to hypnotherapy.
I learned to restructure my thoughts and memories that were not serving me in a positive manner.
Practicing Gratitude daily (starting and ending my day with intention).
Practicing meditation daily.
Practiced my breathing techniques to control my levels of anxiety.
I was mindful of what I allowed in my mind (via friendships, tv, music etc.)
Healing for me is a continual journey, and I know that I can go to my primary doctor for various aliments, but if my mind is not right, my entire body will not be healed nor be in balance. I have learned to stay connected to “THE SOURCE†for me. I had to have my own personal relationship with my maker. The more I practiced gratitude and studied how retrain my brain and rid myself of the habits, behaviors and beliefs that only allowed negativity to rule, the stronger and faster my healing process progressed, learning that breakdowns as stepping stones to my breakthroughs.
Fancy: At what point did you decide to share your story to uplift and educate others?
Veronica: Well, I have always loved science, so I developed my own hypothesis about me. I knew I wanted better for my family, and I wanted this generational curse/challenge to end with me. I kept pushing myself to see if I could beat the odds of developing a new mindset despite the things I went through and what people have said about those with the mental challenges I have had. Once I proved to myself that I could learn to live in the present and live a healthy and happy life without living behind a mask, I knew that others could do the same if they chose to as well.
Fancy: Can you share some warning signs of possible suicide?
Veronica: There are various textbook symptoms of suicide such as:
-
Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself;
-
Looking for a way to kill oneself;
-
Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose;
-
Talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain;
-
Talking about being a burden to others;
-
Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs;
-
Acting anxious, agitated, or reckless;
-
Sleeping too little or too much;
-
Withdrawing or feeling isolated;
-
Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge; and
-
Displaying extreme mood swings.
https://save.org/about-suicide/warning-signs-risk-factors-protective-factors
Fancy: What inspired you to take part in the Crazy Like a Fox Tour?
Veronica:The need for strong women to cultivate positive growth within society and our community. As women, we are the nurturers of our families, and when we are not mentally capable of transferring positive mental stability within the lives of our children, it affects the entire community. I have seen so many broken women tear down their sons and daughters, thus allowing for the family unit to no longer be a positive functioning unit within society. Which continues to propagate continual dysfunction within society.
Fancy: What inspirational nugget would you care to share with our readers?
Veronica: Those that have experienced domestic violence or incest often look for love in all the wrong places. Remember the love that we seek, and most important form of love is self-love, which is found internally. Once we develop true love of self, we will no longer allow others’ desires to be elevated above our desire for true peace, love and happiness. Please go have therapy….don’t allow yourself to continue living behind a mask and never truly enjoy a peace of heaven on earth. Ladies, if you did not receive the love that you desired form the first man in your life, remember, people can not give you what they don’t have inside of them. He may have been a broken little boy that lead to be a broken man. A man that did not know how to be a strong father.
Quotes By Veronica Pryor-Faciane, MS
~See people at face value and don’t look to people to give you value.
~Always control your thoughts throughout the day and never allow them to control you.
~ You are the CEO of your happiness, hire and fire as necessary the people within your circle that are not serving your goals and dreams.
~I MATTER.
Website: https://www.newidlifecoaching.com/
Instagram: @newid888
Facebook: @veronica.faciane
Veronica is a panelist at the Crazy Like a Fox: Black Mental Health Matters Brunch Tour in Atlanta, May 25th and again in Philadelphia July 14th. RSVP at www.crazylikeafoxtour.com/rsvp.Â
