Was Dr. Spock Right or is Perfect Parenting Far Beyond the Galaxies?

Back in my day, as new parents, my husband and I were so excited about having our first child. We did everything by the book – by Dr. Benjamin Spock’s book, that is – The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care. Dr. Spock believed that parents should take a more flexible and lovable approach to raise their kids. He suggested that parents treat their kids as individuals with their own perspectives.

Well, this worked for some, but not for most and gained noted criticism from many of his colleagues.  Early in the parenting game, I met a very wise woman who told me that every child is an individual and has to be raised as such. In researching this, I found that there are four major types of parenting styles: permissive, authoritarian, authoritative, and hands-off. Experts say that the authoritative parenting style is the most successful and produces the most successful outcomes for the child.

I further found that most of today’s parents fall into two categories of parents – the helicopter or the free-range parent. What I find most interesting about this is that after reading a gazillion parenting books, I found that what that wise old lady told me nearly 40 years ago is so true and so relevant today. I don’t care how many children you have, they are each an individual person with thoughts and perceptions of their own and they must be raised accordingly. 

As I look back on raising my girls, I found that I was a “free-range” parent with our first child. I taught her from the get-go to be independent, self-sufficient, strong, and accountable. I gave her the freedom of empowerment at an early age and encouraged her to be BOLD in her movement and actions. But with the situation as it was with our second child – she was eight weeks premature – I was definitely a helicopter parent with her. I believed that she needed more attention, more guidance, more “protection” – if you will than our first child. I believe this was because she was premature and had some health issues that made me nervous, and I did not know how to cope with that. I believed that my free-range chicken was equipped to take care of herself because I had taught her that from birth; on the other hand, I believed my other little chick needed me to “hover” over her and “protect” her from EVERYTHING and everyone. 

The lesson I learned was really taking me back to what I had read in Dr. Spock’s book – you must be flexible; you must take a loving and encouraging approach when trying to communicate effectively with your children; you must treat them as individuals – which will require a different parenting style for each. It could require one specific style or a combination of several styles and that’s perfectly okay. You, as the parent, must figure that out. While reading books from the experts will help – it is totally up to you as the parent to decide what works best for you and your child. Raising children is the hardest job in the world with the worst pay, but the benefits outweigh any reward you could imagine! So go ahead, read the books, do your research and then remember, you CAN do this – you know MORE than you THINK you know. Don’t be afraid to “parent” your children – it’s what they need most!

 

Getting Centered: Whether you think you can… or you can’t…. You are absolutely correct!

I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you in this publication. If you would like to ask me a question about me, what I do, or WHY I do it, just send me a note. I would love to hear from you!

Have a fabulous month and remember…. Keep It Movin!

Peace & Blessings  MeeLo           

Email: meelothequeen@gmail.com

Lorretta  Brown or Meelo, as she is fondly referred to by her grand-kids, is a retired event coordinator/trainer and Chef in the DFW area, with over 35 years of experience in her craft.  She holds a Bachelor’s degree from LeTourneau University in Business Management and presently lives in Mesquite TX with her husband of 39 years. She has written several articles on lifestyle empowerment and self-motivation. Her true passion is cooking and she is currently a private Chef in the DFW area. She continues to work with individuals on self-motivation, self-empowerment, and positive self love to assist them in moving forward to achieve success.

Photo by Demorris Byrd.

Feature by Eye for Ebony.