Wednesday Wonder Woman: Selika Corley-Funchess

Please don’t mistake our Wednesday Wonder Woman Selika Corley-Funchess’s smiles and calm demeanor as a sign of weakness.  Selika is stronger than she appears, using her platform to educate the community on the rising crime of human trafficking.  Selika has used her voice for those who have been silenced by their abusers, whether it was domestic violence or sexual assault.  Selika has used her voice in the courtroom; helping victims of domestic violence to fight for protection orders, filing affidavits, or peace bonds to protect men and women against further abuse.  She has worked tirelessly to train with other advocates and agencies to provide the best service possible to her clients.  She has facilitated training for the Crisis Counselors with Catholic Charities Rape Crisis Center, the entire staff at Hinds Behavioral Health in Jackson, MS; presented in the 2016 and 2017 TAMAR Counseling Center Trauma Center Conference; and presented and participated as a panelist at the 2017 Human Trafficking Symposium hosted by Advocates for Freedom in Gulfport, MS. This Wednesday Wonder Woman has a heck of a story to tell. Read about it below.

Fancy: How would you describe your swagher? What makes Selika, Selika?

Selika: I would describe my SwagHer as a fun-loving, sincere, God fearing advocate, trainer, and public speaker.  What makes Selika, Selika is the ability to be as raw and transparent as I need to be when sharing any testimony that I have.  The ability to be transparent allows those who are suffering know they are not alone.  Someone else has walked in your shoes; felt those same feelings you are experiencing.  People need to be believed when they are ready to disclose.  The inability to show compassion for someone who has disclosed being the victim of any crime may cause them to remain in silence and trauma for years to come. 

Fancy: You had an interesting start to public speaking and it also inspired your Without Consent foundation. Do you mind sharing that story with us?

 Selika: I had a very unique and traumatic beginning to public speaking.  I always had an interest in public speaking.  From the age of 12, I knew I wanted to be a broadcast journalist, but I was very shy.  In December 2012, I learned my daughter was missing.  I received a phone call from my daughter’s roommates asking if I had seen or heard from her.  I advised them I had not.  She had not been seen or heard from in days. It was strange, but not odd since she no longer lived in my household.  I tried to call her cell phone numerous times, leaving countless voicemails, just hoping and praying she was not in harm’s way.  I asked my youngest daughter is she had heard from her sister, and she said she had not.  Panic definitely set in by that time.  If she avoided anyone’s call, it was never a call from her baby sister.  Something had to be wrong.  I reported her missing the next morning to the local authorities.  I was issued a case card and given the general statement, “She’s 19 years old and probably just disappeared for a while.  I’m sure she’ll be back soon.”  I carried that child for seven months (Yes, she was born prematurely), as her mother, something is not right here. 

My family endured roughly two weeks of trauma like you would never believe.  Not only were we traumatized by my child being missing, we were traumatized by people who would call with pranks.  One phone call I received demanded $500 on a Green Dot card for her return.  They didn’t have my baby.  They couldn’t even spell her name correctly.  It seems as if every door was being closed in our faces, or nothing was being done.  There were three generations (my mom, grandmother, and myself) sitting at the station, begging for answers.  There was one detective (RIP Det. Eric Smith) who actually went to the hotel and tried to interview the staff.  My family interviewed a few of the housekeeping staff ourselves.  No leads.  They could recall the group of people who checked in to the hotel, but not my baby.

Then finally, I began to receive text messages around 1 am.  I asked her, “Baby where are you?’ She had no idea.  She was able to retrieve her cell phone after her traffickers thought they disposed of it.  I asked her to please try to keep her cell phone on so that we could locate her.  They didn’t know she had her phone, and she didn’t have a way to charge her phone.  So she could send a quick message and power the phone off again.  The last night she texted me and I asked again, “Baby where are you?” Again she responded via text message, “I don’t know.” I asked her, “What do you see, are there any signs, mile markers or anything?”  She replied, “I see a bunch of highways and Seven Eleven Stores.”  Well, we don’t have those stores in Mississippi, so where was she?  The last text I received was that they were about to change cars and she was about to try and run from them.  That attempt was unsuccessful due to her traffickers pumping her with drugs.  They quickly grabbed her by the collar in the middle of her chest, as evidence by the visible bruising on her chest once she returned, and threw her into the next car.  That location was in a hotel parking lot.  That’s where they exchanged cars and that’s when her cell phone lost power.

I waited in agony for days to hear from her.  My productivity at work decreased.  I had no appetite.  My youngest daughter slept at the end of my bed the entire time.  My son was quiet and seldom said a word.

We didn’t hear anything for the next three to four days.  We were all sitting at my mom’s house one night.  My mom picked up the laptop and prayed.  She said, “I have faith the size of a mustard seed that when I log into this cell phone website, I’m going to find my baby.”  That mustard seed of faith is all that it took.  Just as she prayed, we received a cell tower ping with her location.  I logged on to the desktop.  I located the hotel where she was located.  I called the front desk at the hotel and advised her that my daughter was missing with a report on file.  “We have contacted the local authorities and they are on their way.  If I could please have your email address, may I please email you a picture of my baby to give to the deputy when he arrives on scene?”I asked, and she replied yes. 

I called the deputy to advise her missing flyer had been emailed to the front desk.  The deputy retrieved the picture and proceeded to ride through the parking lot of the hotel.  He said he approached the car that had a lone female inside.  The deputy said as he approached the car, the same female asked him to “please help me get away from these people.”  He called me and said, “Mam if your daughter had not stepped forward and told me she was the one I was looking for, I would not have recognized her by this picture.”

Fancy: As a mother, what was this experience like?

Selika: As a mother, this experience was traumatizing.  I was depressed and helpless.  As parents, we are supposed to protect our kids from hurt, harm, or danger no matter their age.  The things I learned about human (sex) trafficking were enough to break a parent’s heart.  To think your child was exposed to that life.

Fancy: Human trafficking is a huge issue, but it seems like we don’t think about it happening to us or near us. I’m from Mississippi as well, so I was really shocked to learn of such. Because it’s not the norm we are used to, how did you know how to handle the situation?

Selika: Human trafficking has received the spotlight for many cases recently.  According to the National Human Trafficking Hotline 77 calls were received, which resulted in 39 cases of human trafficking for the state of Mississippi. There were just as many adult victims as minors (18 adults and 14 minors).  No minor can consent to sex (check your state for the statue of limitations).   Because of myths and perceptions, the community failed to look at the issue from a different perspective.  Many of these men and women do not choose this life.  It’s either generational, coerced, fraud, or abduction.  I didn’t’ know how to handle the situation.  There were no awareness events in my community to notify parents and communities about the dangers that were waiting on a child or young adult to make a wrong decision.  I became a true “MaMa Bear”.  It was my job to rescue and return her to the people who love her, then educate the community on what I had learned.

Fancy: Your job with the Hinds County Sheriff’s Office as the Victim’s Assistance Coordinator also stemmed from you being familiar with the subject. Do you ever think that that event re-altered your life?

Selika: After my daughter was rescued and returned in January 2013, there were changes I had to make. I began to do research on the topic.  I always wanted to know more about this form of trafficking.  The only trafficking I was aware of at the time was guns and drugs.  The more I learned, the more upset I became.  I began to look at missing children and at risk youth from a different perspective.  My work mainly consisted of domestic violence work for 20 years as a free service.  Human trafficking was added after the way in which it affected my family.  In March of 2014, I began to collaborate and volunteer with the Hinds County Sheriff’s Office for awareness events under my first nonprofit, Without Consent Foundation (later changed to Passion and Purpose of Mississippi, LLC).  I began receiving training in trauma, sexual assault, domestic violence, etc., a service offered by community partners.  These trainings helped me to become a better advocate to provide trauma informed and victim centered approaches to insure proper case management.  My mission was to make a difference, and I had to begin somewhere. I began to go out into the community and share my anguish as a mother, to hopefully get the community to understand this crime.  In June of 2014, I was offered a paid position with the Sheriff’s Office to serve as the Victims’ Assistance Coordinator, assisting victims of interpersonal violence to include human trafficking with court advocacy, counseling, housing, protection orders, and other aftercare services indicated upon intake and case management.  I was able to reach people on a larger scale than simply working alone.  Public trainings and speaking helped me with being so shy.  I use my voice in the court room when my victims/survivors have been silenced.  I am no longer afraid to fight for injustice.  The trafficking event helped me to reach self-actualization.  I wake up every day with a renewed passion for helping people and educating my community.  When I found my voice, I used it with passion.  When I found my passion, I began to work in purpose. 

Fancy: So what topics do you typically speak on?

Selika: The main topics I speak on are domestic violence, because I am a transparent survivor; sexual assault to include human trafficking, healthy relationships, and women’s empowerment.

Fancy: Are there any signs parents should look for or any tips you care to share?

Selika: If parents feel their child may be at risk, they should make sure they check their kids’ social media pages.  After you have checked social media, check their phones.  Traffickers have a unique way of using the child’s vulnerabilities (abuse, neglect, runaways, and those who have been bullied) of children and becoming a “friend’.   There’s the “new friend” who appears to act older than he/she really is and rarely interacts with parents.  Children who may begin to wear suggestive or revealing clothing that you have not purchased may have been exposed or even groomed for “the life”.  If a child is at risk of running away, or runs away often, find out what they are running towards.  Sometimes the false love of a trafficker is better than abuse and neglect they receive at home.  I tell parents often, you have to “get in their business”.  Ask questions, get involved.  I’ve spoken at many schools.  When I finish, there’s often a line of young ladies waiting to speak to me afterwards.  I’m normally the first person to whom they have disclosed abuse.  I always want to know why they chose me.  The response is normally, “no one ever asked, questioned, or listened.”

Fancy: Do you have any upcoming events or projects that you care to share?

Today I am collaborating with the Butterflies event, Denim Day, which is a nationwide event started by Peace Over Violence, a Sexual Assault Awareness event (Denim Day.org). May 5, I will collaborate with Infusion X Metro’s Block Party for booth set up and awareness.  May 6^th, will be a Facebook live interview for my survivor friend Kelley.  Her show is, Empowerment Hour with Kelley.

Please follow and connect with Selika below.

LinkedIn: Selika Corley-Funchess

Twitter is: PandPMs

Instagram: Mypassionismypurpose

Website: withoutconsentfoundation.org

 Email:  Passionandpurposems@gmail.com