Everyone knows that when you first get into a relationship that the honeymoon phase is fresh and exciting. You have a new person in your life to learn about, they introduce you to new things, and you get to share your interests with them, so on and so forth. Everything is new, you’re crazy about them, and they’re crazy about you. You have those phone calls that last for hours, you can’t keep your hands off each other, you want every second of spare time to go toward them. You have all your firsts together, your first date, your first kiss, your first fight. And you love every moment of it because falling in love is indescribable.
Then about a year in, give or take, it’s like you hit a wall. It feels like the worst possible thing that could happen. You don’t know where to go from there and you’re wondering where things went wrong. Things that didn’t bother you before are now starting to get under your skin, you feel like they are there all the time (can I have a minute to breathe?), your hours-long phone calls have shortened to less than 30 minutes. Is this the end?
Just because your relationship is nearing the end of the honeymoon phase does not mean that your relationship is over altogether. That’s just part of the natural progression of being with someone. Relationships are not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. Because feelings are fleeting, emotions come and go. Making the conscious choice to be in a relationship with someone is a decision that requires hard work. You make the choice to compromise, become better and build with your partner.
Deciding whether you are at the end of the honeymoon phase or the end of the relationship isn’t as hard as you think. You just have to determine if you’re bored with the relationship or bored with the person.
If you’re bored with the person then…welp.
If you’re bored with the relationship, then I have a few suggestions:
- Give each other some space.
Taking some time apart to think about your relationship can give you the clarity you need on where you want your relationship to go in the future.
- Be grateful,
Remind yourself of all the reasons that you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Give each other comments of appreciation often. You would be surprised how such a small act can strengthen a relationship and bring you closer. It’ll allow the both of you to learn things that you appreciate about the other.
- Get an outside point of view.
You know how sometimes you think you’re overreacting and you explain the situation to a friend and they tell you that you were obviously overreacting? Yeah. Find someone who will tell you what your relationship honestly looks like and give you some good advice. But be careful who you ask.
- Go on a baecation.
Even if your baecation turns into a staycation, take some time away from your busy lives and spend it together. Use that time to bond and rediscover one another.
- Share new experiences
Find something adventurous to do together. Even if it’s a simple activity like painting or hiking. Injecting new things into your relationship keeps it exciting.
In short, relationships, as I said before are HARD WORK. They don’t come easy and nothing stays perfect forever. There will be ups and downs and feelings will come and go, but if you decide you want to be with someone, then make sure you’re prepared to wake up every day and make it work.
-Kaitlan Darby
Kaitlan Darby is a recent graduate of UL Lafayette. She has a B.A. in Mass Communication with a concentration in Public Relations and a minor in promotional management. She is a publicist, writer, and aspiring actress. She is the founder of Black Mamba Creative, which is her own creative arts/services outlet.
Instagram:Â @blackmambacreative
LinkedIn:Â Kaitlan Darby
Website:Â kaitlandarby.wixsite.com/portfolio
Photo by Prince Akachi.
