Winter is a hard time for me. I often write about the good seasons of life when everything is going right- money is coming in, social events are taking place, and life is allowing us to have our way. Those are the good times, the seasons of abundance, but there are also seasons when things are not going our way, business is slow, and days are gray.
During these seasons, I tend to be quiet. I do not want to be bothered with people as much because my energy is often low physically and spiritually, and I don’t want to subject it to others. Usually, during these times, I experience bouts of depression, but this year, I have worked hard not to let it go that far. The feelings still come, but I do not allow myself to give in to them because I know another season is coming. So I keep my head down and immerse myself in my work. I’ve also been revamping my self-care routines and working harder to make them constant.
I realize there is a sense of beauty during this time. Even as many things are dying off, we know something new is coming. In the past few months, I have experienced lots of loss. I have let go of relationships and business ideas- something I usually would not be able to do because I do not believe in quitting. However, something in my spirit told me that it was time to let go because these people and things wanted to be free, or they were not going anywhere. I had to look at the reality of things, and it was a hard pill to swallow but look at me surviving and ish after consuming it.
My change of attitude about enduring the winter months helps. Before, I lacked the maturity to see that I was holding myself back by focusing on how difficult it was to get through this time. It’s always slower for business and all the other things the cold brings. Lately, it’s been the hit of inflation, talks of a recession, and more mass shootings than days in the year. But since I’ve begun to look at life in seasons, I feel assured about what is to follow, and I look forward to seeing the signs and buds of new life as it starts to form. This blog expresses a lot of what I feel.
That is the beauty of things, understanding that we must complete the cycle to begin anew. I’m envisioning how I want my spring to be. I planted my seeds during the fall and am waiting for them to bloom. In the meantime, I water them daily, even when I do not feel like it. I push myself through those days with the promise of sunny days to come, the laughter that will ring out, the way my body will look in my clothes due to the work I am putting in, and the way it will move and feel in the sunlight again.
There’s a lot to look forward to. In the meantime, we must push through.
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